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You want to apply to a private college seeking admission for a bachelor degree. You are experiencing financial problems at the moment and can not get admitted to the college without some help. Write a letter to the Principal of the college explaining your situation and ask for information on scholarships or other means of financial help available.

You want to apply to a private college seeking admission for a bachelor degree. You are experiencing financial problems at the moment and can not get admitted to the college without some help. Write a letter to the Principal of the college explaining your situation and ask for information on scholarships or other means of financial help available. VB69J
Dear Sir, I am John Smith residing in Manitoba since last 5 years. I have completed my diploma in mechanical engineering and now I want to apply for the graduate program. The purpose of writing this letter to ask some information regards of the financial help. The University of Manitoba is one of the leading institutes in engineering field and therefore I have decided to apply in this for my further study. Currently, I am running of low cash and thus I am unable to pay the fees in advance because of two reasons. The foremost one is, during my undergraduate I was international student and therefore I had to pay almost 3 times higher fees than the now. In addition to this, I got my PR visa recently and get the full time job just before 3 months. Therefore, I am not capable for funding the collage to take the admission. It will be great if you could give me some information regarding scholarship program. Although, I have applied for two programs, I still need help from your side. Furthermore, I have heard about the student loan program initiated by collage authority last year. So if I can get the chance to apply for the same let me know. Look for a positive response from you side. Yours Sincerely, John Smith.
Dear Sir,

I am John Smith residing in Manitoba since last 5 years. I have completed my diploma in mechanical engineering and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
I want to apply for the graduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
. The purpose of writing this letter to ask
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
information regards of the financial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.

The University of Manitoba is one of the leading institutes in engineering field and
therefore
I have decided to apply in this for my
further
study.
Currently
, I am running of low cash and
thus
I am unable to pay the fees in advance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of two reasons. The foremost one is, during my undergraduate I
Please check whether an article is missing: "was a international" or "was an international"
was international
student and
therefore
I had to pay almost 3 times higher fees than the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
In addition
to this, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
my PR visa recently and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the full time job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
3 months.
Therefore
, I am not capable for funding the collage to take the admission. It will be great if you could give me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
information regarding scholarship
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
. Although, I have applied for two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
, I
still
need
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from your side.

Furthermore
, I have heard about the student loan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
initiated by collage authority last year.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
if I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the chance to apply for the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
me know.

Look for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
response from you side.

Yours
Sincerely
,

John Smith.

IELTS letter You want to apply to a private college seeking admission for a bachelor degree. You are experiencing financial problems at the moment and can not get admitted to the college without some help. Write a letter to the Principal of the college explaining your situation and ask for information on scholarships or other means of financial help available.

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
222 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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