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You recently went on a trip with a friend and you both took some photographs. v.2

You recently went on a trip with a friend and you both took some photographs. v. 2
Dear Dean, How are you? I guess you have got busy with your new job and voluntary social works that you are very active in. I wish I have been more active like you! I would like to thank you for making our trip to Brazil so interesting. Our trip to Brazil was amazing and the vibrant activities we had there are unforgettable. I still remember our day at Pelourinho, the historic centre of Salvador. I particularly relished the old town as it was filled with graceful tranquillity, colourfully painted pastel buildings, and music in the streets. Can you recall how we screamed with joy the time we saw a city we have only seen in movies before? It was an astonishing experience. Do you have the copy of the picture you took in which I was standing amind of a crowd as if I was a local resident? The picture portrayed a different me in it and the lighting worked like magic. I am unfortunate to find that I do not have a copy of this picture. I must have placed it somewhere or lost it. This photograph is special as it reminds me of a great trip we had together. I liked this photo the most as it captured a smiling myself in a mysterious town in a strange outset. I was so overwhelmed with the beauty of this town that I forgot to take pictures. I would be grateful if you can send me that particular picture at your convenience. Take care and stay fine. Warm wishes, Sam
Dear Dean,

How are you? I guess you have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
busy with your new job and voluntary social works that you are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
active in. I wish I have been more active like you!
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
would like to thank you for making our trip to Brazil
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
interesting.

Our trip to Brazil was amazing and the vibrant activities we had there are unforgettable. I
still
remember our day at
Possible spelling mistake found.
Pelourinho
, the historic
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
of Salvador. I
particularly
relished the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
town as it
was filled
with graceful
Possible spelling mistake found.
tranquillity
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'colourfully' is British English.
colourfully
painted pastel buildings, and music in the streets. Can you recall how we screamed with joy the time we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a city we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in movies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
? It was an astonishing experience.

Do you have the copy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
picture
you took in which I was standing
Possible spelling mistake found.
amind
of a crowd as if I was a local resident? The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
picture
portrayed a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
me in it and the lighting worked like magic. I am unfortunate to find that I do not have a copy of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
picture
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have placed it somewhere or lost it.

This photograph is special as it reminds me of a great trip we had together. I liked this photo the most as it captured a smiling myself in a mysterious town in a strange outset. I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
overwhelmed with the beauty of this town that I forgot to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pictures
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
would be grateful if you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
me that particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
picture
at your convenience.

Take care and stay fine.

Warm wishes,

Sam
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS letter You recently went on a trip with a friend and you both took some photographs. v. 2

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
260 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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