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You are having a graduation party next Saturday night. You have invited 50 people to celebrate at an outdoor barbecue evening, which may continue till late night. v.2

You are having a graduation party next Saturday night. You have invited 50 people to celebrate at an outdoor barbecue evening, which may continue till late night. v. 2
Dear Ms Kelly, I am your next-door neighbour James and writing to inform you that I have recently graduated from the Bradford Union School. To celebrate this special event, I and my family have invited a few guests to a house party on Saturday night. I am afraid this will last till the late night and the noise might disturb you. My sincere apology for that in advance. The graduation party will begin at around 8. 00 pm on Saturday and we are expecting approximately 50 guests. We have arranged for an outdoor party, mainly a barbecue party and a music gala, and the guests are mainly my friends and relatives. We have arranged an outdoor stage where a few people would talk and two of my friends would sing. My friends would be cheering up and have loud conversations during the party and I am afraid the music might disrupt your sleep. Please accept my sincere apology in advance for the commotion from the party and the gathering. I hope you would be kind enough to endure this disturbance considering how special this event is for me. Please do visit us someday at your convenience over the dinner so that we can have a pleasant conversation. I really enjoyed our last discussion and would love to talk to you again. Yours sincerely, James Grant
Dear Ms Kelly,

I am your
next
-door
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbour' is British English.
neighbour
James and writing to inform you that I have recently graduated from the Bradford Union School. To celebrate this special
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
, I and my family have invited a few guests to a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
on Saturday night. I am afraid this will last till the late night and the noise might disturb you. My sincere apology for that in advance.

The graduation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
at around 8. 00 pm on
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Saturday and
we are expecting approximately 50 guests. We have arranged for an outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
,
mainly
a barbecue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
and a music gala, and the guests are
mainly
my friends and relatives. We have arranged an outdoor stage where a few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would talk and two of my friends would sing. My friends would be cheering up and have loud conversations during the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
party and
I am afraid the music might disrupt your sleep.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
accept my sincere apology in advance for the commotion from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
party
and the gathering. I hope you would be kind
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to endure this disturbance considering how special this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
is for me.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
do visit us someday at your convenience over the dinner
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that we can have a pleasant conversation. I
really
enjoyed our last discussion and would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to talk to you again.

Yours
sincerely
,

James Grant
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS letter You are having a graduation party next Saturday night. You have invited 50 people to celebrate at an outdoor barbecue evening, which may continue till late night. v. 2

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
224 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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