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You recently saw an advertisement in a local newspaper regarding some vacancies in a local departmental store / supermarket. Write to the recruiting officer. In your letter the post for which you are applying give details about your experience why you want to get this job

You recently saw an advertisement in a local newspaper regarding some vacancies in a local departmental store / supermarket. Write to the recruiting officer. In your letter the post for which you are applying give details about your experience why you want to get this job VEWQ6
Dear sir I am writing this letter in regards to announcement of vacant spaces in your departmental store. And I am willing to put in for the post of cashier, As I had been graduated in accounts as well in finance. Moreover, I have a valuable experience of 4 years in different malls, supermarket, and groceries store as a cashier and expert in maintaining balance sheets and ledgers to evaluate the overall progress of the company. Additionally, I have good bilingual communication skills in both English and French and would like to interact people having diverse culture. I really want to get this opportunity because nowadays I am jobless due to this pandemic situation Furthermore, I am full time student and faces many difficulties to survive in these tough times. I would be highly glad if you give this golden chance to me and expect to hear from you soon and thanks for giving attention on this letter Yours faithfully Shahbaz
Dear sir

I am writing this letter
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
in regards to
announcement of vacant spaces in your departmental store. And I am willing to put in for the post of cashier, As I had
been graduated
in accounts
as well
in finance.

Moreover
, I have a valuable experience of 4 years in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
malls, supermarket, and groceries store as a cashier and expert in maintaining balance sheets and ledgers to evaluate the
overall
progress of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
Additionally
, I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
bilingual communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in both English and French and would like to interact
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
having diverse culture.

I
really
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
this opportunity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
nowadays I am jobless due to this pandemic situation
Furthermore
, I am full time student and faces
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
difficulties to survive in these tough times. I would be
highly
glad if you give this golden chance to me and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
to hear from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
and thanks for giving attention on this
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
letter


Yours
faithfully


Possible spelling mistake found.
Shahbaz
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IELTS letter You recently saw an advertisement in a local newspaper regarding some vacancies in a local departmental store / supermarket. Write to the recruiting officer. In your letter the post for which you are applying give details about your experience why you want to get this job

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
160 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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