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Tell a story about your childhood

Tell a story about your childhood 6lE08
His brother came home with a weird box, we didn't know what was inside. I was curious, so I asked him what was inside and told him to open it. He was scared and asked me to open it because he thought I was brave. Suddenly, we heard a sound inside and a black cat jumped out of it. At first, I was surprised and about to scream, but when I looked at its big black eyes, I found out that it was really cute. On the contrary, he didn't like the cat. He suffered to me to bring the cat to take care of. Because it was cute, I was happy to be his owner. I gave him a lovely name and on the next day, I immediately bought him a pretty house, which is now placed under my bed. After the end of the day, I always played and took care of “Lily” - the name I gave to my own cat. Day by day, I got something stranger Lily did some activities like the cat I had lost in my childhood. She was attracted by my red carpet, climbed to the roof of my house. It almost made me cry. To find out if it was my cat back then or not, I asked his brother where he had found it. He said that it had been in the box in the corner of a street, which made me surprised because my back cat had been lost at the same place. I wanted to verify so I went home and asked my mum because she knew exactly what my last cat looked like. When she thought it was right, I was very surprised and full of happiness.
His brother came home with a weird box, we didn't know what was inside. I was curious,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
asked
him what was inside and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
him to open it. He
was scared
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
asked
me to open it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
I was brave.
Suddenly
, we heard a sound inside and a black cat jumped out of it. At
first
, I
was surprised
and about to scream,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when I looked at its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
black eyes, I found out that it was
really
cute.
On the contrary
, he didn't like the cat. He suffered to me to bring the cat to take care of.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
it was cute, I was happy to be his owner. I gave him a lovely name and on the
next
day, I immediately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
him a pretty
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
placed under my bed. After the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the day, I always played and took care of “Lily”
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
the name I gave to my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
cat. Day by day, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
something stranger Lily did
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
activities like the cat I had lost in my childhood. She
was attracted
by my red carpet, climbed to the roof of my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. It almost made me cry. To find out if it was my cat back then or not, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
asked
his brother where he had found it. He said that it had been in the box in the corner of a street, which made me surprised
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
my back cat had
been lost
at the same place. I wanted to verify
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I went home and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
asked
my mum
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
she knew exactly what my last cat looked like. When she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
it was right, I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
surprised and full of happiness.
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IELTS letter Tell a story about your childhood

Letter
  American English
1 paragraphs
290 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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