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You recently bought an item of clothing from a shop. You discovered that it had a fault and returned it to the shop for replacement or refund. However, the assistant told you that this was against the store's policy. v.2

You recently bought an item of clothing from a shop. You discovered that it had a fault and returned it to the shop for replacement or refund. However, the assistant told you that this was against the store's policy. v. 2
Dear Sir or Madam, Three days ago I bought a green long-sleeve jumper from your store. I was excited to have a 40% discount on the product but very disappointed to notice that the item was defective. I am hoping you would replace it with a new one or refund me the money. I bought the jumper from your store on 2nd June and it is medium-sized cotton-made clothing. When I got home, I discovered a small hole in the left sleeve of the jumper. It looks like a rip of some kind and the stitching has unravelled. I visited your shop the next day to ask for an identical replacement. Unfortunately, the stock was not available. Therefore, I asked for a refund. However, the shop assistant refused to give me a refund and said it was against the store policy. It cost me $59. 95 and the order number is JB54874520. I am attaching a receipt with this letter. I am writing to demand a refund or, at the very least, a replacement. The jumper is unwearable as it is and I do not want to buy anything else. I hope that you can assist me in this matter. If I do not hear from you within the next three days, I will be forced to seek legal advice. Yours faithfully, Amber Crew
Dear Sir or Madam,

Three days ago I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
a green long-sleeve jumper from your store. I
was excited
to have a 40% discount on the product
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
disappointed to notice that the item was defective. I am hoping you would replace it with a new one or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
refund
me the money.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
the jumper from your store on 2nd June and it is medium-sized cotton-made clothing. When I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
home, I discovered a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
hole in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
sleeve of the jumper. It looks like a rip of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind and the stitching has
Possible spelling mistake found.
unravelled
. I visited your shop the
next
day to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
an identical replacement. Unfortunately, the stock was not available.
Therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
asked for
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
refund
.
However
, the shop assistant refused to give me a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
refund
and said it was against the store policy. It cost me $59. 95 and the order number is JB54874520. I am attaching a receipt with this letter.

I am writing to demand a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
refund
or, at the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
least, a replacement. The jumper is unwearable as it is and I do not want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
anything else. I hope that you can assist me in this matter. If I do not hear from you within the
next
three days, I will
be forced
to seek legal advice.

Yours
faithfully
,

Amber Crew
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS letter You recently bought an item of clothing from a shop. You discovered that it had a fault and returned it to the shop for replacement or refund. However, the assistant told you that this was against the store's policy. v. 2

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
223 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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