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You recently bought a camera while travelling overseas. When you got to your destination you discovered that some important items were missing from the box. Write a letter to the local representative of the company. In your letter give details of the camera and where you bought it explain what has happened say what you want him/her to do about it.

Dear Sir/Madam, This well-considered letter draws your attention towards main accessories of the camera missing from the box. I bought Sony DSLR SRS-XB 20 model camera which is 40 MP front lens with aperture, 10x zoom, panoramic view and camera stand for auto capture facilities available. I bought this camera for 45 thousand INR while on my trip to London and bought it from authorized Sony center located on the 4th street of the Avenue Road. I have attached the receipt along with this letter. As i was on my way back to home from London and did not check the camera box completely, however I was assured by the sales staff that all the necessary accessories is in the box, but to my surprise when I opened the box I could not find the aperture lens and leather cover which is mentioned in the product box, I have filmed the unboxing and attached the clip for your reference. Since it is a packing mistake, I request you to kindly send me the missing accessories without which the camera is obsolete and of no use for me. In case if you are not able to ship the product I would request you to kindly refund back the full amount in my account and I would courier the camera box. I look forward to your reply. Regards, Chandan
Dear Sir/Madam,

This well-considered letter draws your attention towards main accessories of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
missing from the box.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
Sony DSLR
Possible spelling mistake found.
SRS-XB
20 model
Possible agreement error. The noun ‘camera’ seems to be countable, so consider using: “camerae”, “cameras”.
camera
which is 40 MP front lens with aperture, 10x zoom, panoramic view and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
stand for auto capture facilities available. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
for 45 thousand INR while on my trip to London and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
it from authorized Sony center located on the 4th street of the Avenue Road.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
have attached the receipt along with this letter.

As
Is this the personal pronoun “I”? It is spelled uppercase.
i
was on my way back to home from London and did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
box
completely,
however
I
was assured
by the sales staff that all the necessary accessories is in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
box
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to my surprise when I opened the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
box
I could not find the aperture lens and leather cover which
is mentioned
in the product
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
box
, I have filmed the unboxing and attached the clip for your reference.

Since it is a packing mistake, I request you to kindly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
me the missing accessories without which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
is obsolete and of no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for me. In case if you are not able to ship the product I would request you to kindly refund back the full amount in my account and I would courier the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
box.

I look forward to your reply.

Regards,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Chandan

IELTS letter You recently bought a camera while travelling overseas. When you got to your destination you discovered that some important items were missing from the box. Write a letter to the local representative of the company. In your letter give details of the camera and where you bought it explain what has happened say what you want him/her to do about it.

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
226 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • You recently bought a camera while travelling overseas. When you got to your destination you discovered that some important items were missing from the box. Write a letter to the local representative of the company. In your letter give details of the camera and where you bought it explain what has happened say what you want him/her to do about it.