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You noticed a room at your company office that can be used as a relaxation room. Write a letter to your manager and ask to use the room for this purpose. In your letter, • explain why you are suggesting this • which room it is • what changes in the room will need to be done You should write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear ............,

You noticed a room at your company office that can be used as a relaxation room. Write a letter to your manager and ask to use the room for this purpose. In your letter, • explain why you are suggesting this • which room it is • what changes in the room will need to be done You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear. . . . . . . . . . . . , odDB
Dear Mr. klair, I am writing this letter to enquire about a room in our corporation which can be utilized as a break room in order to provide refreshment to employees as well as to enhance productivity. As you are aware that all the staff members have been working rigidly to meet the deadlines. we are not able to go out to get some fresh air to reduce the fatigue of unbreakable job. Owing to this, the employees perceive restlessness which leads to monotonous environment. I figured out a room near the conference hall which was previously being used to store the manual files. Given to the advance application software, now we preserve all the documents in computers. Eventually, the place is unoccupied. The room is quite decent and well ventilated. However, it needs certain renovations such as installing the furniture to sit and music system to rejuvenate our minds. I am Looking forward to hear from you. Yours sincerely, Sukhvir.
Dear Mr.
Possible spelling mistake found.
klair
,

I am writing this letter to
Possible spelling mistake. 'enquire' is British English.
enquire
about a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
in our corporation which can
be utilized
as a break
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
in order to provide refreshment to employees
as well
as to enhance productivity.

“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
you are aware that all the staff members have been working
rigidly
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the deadlines.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
we
are not able to go out to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fresh air to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the fatigue of unbreakable job. Owing to this, the employees perceive restlessness which leads to monotonous environment.

I figured out a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
near the conference hall which was previously being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to store the manual files.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
to the advance application software,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
we preserve all the documents in computers.
Eventually
, the place
is unoccupied
.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
is quite decent and well ventilated.
However
, it needs certain renovations such as installing the furniture to sit and music system to rejuvenate our minds.

I am Looking forward
In the grammatical structure 'look + forward + to + verb', the verb 'to' is used with the gerund: "to hearing".
to hear
from you.

Yours
sincerely
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Sukhvir
.

IELTS letter You noticed a room at your company office that can be used as a relaxation room. Write a letter to your manager and ask to use the room for this purpose. In your letter, • explain why you are suggesting this • which room it is • what changes in the room will need to be done You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear. . . . . . . . . . . . ,

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
161 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • You noticed a room at your company office that can be used as a relaxation room. Write a letter to your manager and ask to use the room for this purpose. In your letter, • explain why you are suggesting this • which room it is • what changes in the room will need to be done You should write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear ............,