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You have written an article for a magazine about the job that you do. Write a letter to your manager to ask for his/her comments on it. - Explain why you have written this article. - Give a short description of what you have written. - Specify what particular things you want him/her to comment on

You have written an article for a magazine about the job that you do. Write a letter to your manager to ask for his/her comments on it. - Explain why you have written this article. - Give a short description of what you have written. - Specify what particular things you want him/her to comment on gYNDd
Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing this letter in regards to receive your feedback for my article which I have been asked to write for the magazine, on behalf of all the nurses. This article will be published next month in Gruhshobhika magazine. To begin with, as you are quite aware of our experience in the unit, last week we had an admission of a burn patient, who met with an accident of gas cylinder. Although our society is familiar with the handling of gas cylinders, still there is a need to provide additional knowledge. In addition to this, I thought this is the best topic to create awareness about safety measures. I mentioned that how little negligence can leads to life-threatening, safety precautions while handling gas cylinders, and how to tackle and rescue if such an emergency occurred. Kindly go through my article and make a suggestion, your precious comments will be appreciated. Yours faithfully
Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing this letter
in regards to
receive your feedback for my article which I have
been asked
to write for the magazine, on behalf of all the nurses. This article will
be published
next
month in
Gruhshobhika
magazine.

To
begin
with, as you are quite aware of our experience in the unit, last week we had an admission of a burn patient, who met with an accident of gas cylinder. Although our society is familiar with the handling of gas cylinders,
still
there is a need to provide additional knowledge.

In addition
to this, I
thought
this is the best topic to create awareness about safety measures. I mentioned that how
little
negligence can
leads
to life-threatening, safety precautions while handling gas cylinders, and how to tackle and rescue if such an emergency occurred.

Kindly go through my article and
make
a suggestion, your precious comments will
be appreciated
.

Yours
faithfully
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IELTS letter You have written an article for a magazine about the job that you do. Write a letter to your manager to ask for his/her comments on it. - Explain why you have written this article. - Give a short description of what you have written. - Specify what particular things you want him/her to comment on

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
154 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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