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You have seen an advertisement in an English newspaper for a job working in the City Museum shop during the holidays. You decide to apply for the job. Write a letter to the director of the Museum. In your letter, introduce yourself explain what experience and special skills you have explain why you are interested in the job

You have seen an advertisement in an English newspaper for a job working in the City Museum shop during the holidays. You decide to apply for the job. Write a letter to the director of the Museum. In your letter, introduce yourself explain what experience and special skills you have explain why you are interested in the job KenN
Dear Sir/Madam, I’m writing to apply for the holiday job which you advertised recently in the newspaper. I am a twenty-one-year-old student and I speak English quite well. At present I am in my second year studying History at Lincoln College and I am very keen to have a holiday job this summer. I am extremely good at adding up, so I think I would be an asset to your shop. My term finishes on 5th July and I am free until 20th September. Last year I worked in a restaurant serving tourists from all over the world and I enjoyed it very much. I would like to have the opportunity to meet people and practise my English again. I enjoy going to museums and am particularly keen on history. Last year I went to an exhibition of Ancient Greek objects which was held in London. I have often been in your museum and am familiar with the items you have. I do hope you will be interested in my application. I look forward to hearing from you in the near future. Yours faithfully, Dimitris Boudramis
Dear Sir/Madam,

I’m writing to apply for the holiday job which you advertised recently in the newspaper. I am a twenty-one-year-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
student and I speak English quite well. At
The comma is probably missing here: "present, I".
present I
am in my second year studying History at Lincoln
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
College and
I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
keen to have a holiday job this summer. I am
extremely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at adding up,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
I would be an asset to your shop.

My term finishes on 5th
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
July and
I am free until 20th September. Last year I worked in a restaurant serving tourists from all over the world and I enjoyed it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much. I would like to have the opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'practise' is British English.
practise
my English again.

I enjoy going to museums and am
particularly
keen on history. Last year I went to an exhibition of Ancient Greek objects which
was held
in London. I have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
been in your museum and am familiar with the items you have. I do hope you will
be interested
in my application.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
look forward to hearing from you in the near future.

Yours
faithfully
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Dimitris
Possible spelling mistake found.
Boudramis

IELTS letter You have seen an advertisement in an English newspaper for a job working in the City Museum shop during the holidays. You decide to apply for the job. Write a letter to the director of the Museum. In your letter, introduce yourself explain what experience and special skills you have explain why you are interested in the job

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
185 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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