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You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six-year-old child. Write a letter to the parents. In your letter • Explain why you would like the job • Give details of why you would be a suitable person to employ • Say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia.

You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six-year-old child. Write a letter to the parents. In your letter • Explain why you would like the job • Give details of why you would be a suitable person to employ • Say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia. GOoo
Dear Sir or Madam, I hope you are doing well. I am writing this letter to apply for the baby-sitting job for six months starting 1st April till 30th October 2021. I saw the advertisement that you are looking for someone to stay with your family for half year. As per the details given in advertisement, I believe I would be a perfect fit for such kind of job as I love to spend time with the children. I believe children are very pure by heart and joyful, and that gives us more positivity when we are surrounded by them. I also love playing different sports which I guess attracts almost every child of his age. Its been almost 18 months since I have joined my college here in Sydney and now as my college is only online for few hours It would be great opportunity for me to do something in which I am interested and would also get decent salary for the same. In free time, mostly during the weekends I will visit the opera house and valleys located in the outskirts of the city. I would request you to kindly let me know if I can visit you to discuss more in detail for this job. Looking forward to hear from you. Best Regards, Rahul Thakkar
Dear Sir or Madam,

I hope you are doing well. I am writing this letter to apply for the baby-sitting job for six months starting 1st April till 30th October 2021.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
the advertisement that you are looking for someone to stay with your family for half year.

As per the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in advertisement, I believe I would be a perfect fit for such kind of job as I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to spend time with the children. I believe children are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
pure by heart and joyful, and that gives us more positivity when we
are surrounded
by them. I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
playing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sports which I guess attracts almost every child of his age.

Did you mean "It's" (="It has") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Its
been almost 18 months since I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
my college here in Sydney and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
as my college is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
online for few hours It would be great opportunity for me to do something in which I
am interested
and would
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
decent salary for the same. In free time,
mostly
during the weekends I will visit the opera
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and valleys located in the outskirts of the city.

I would request you to kindly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
me know if I can visit you to discuss more in detail for this job. Looking forward
In the grammatical structure 'look + forward + to + verb', the verb 'to' is used with the gerund: "to hearing".
to hear
from you.

Best Regards,

Rahul
Possible spelling mistake found.
Thakkar
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IELTS letter You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six-year-old child. Write a letter to the parents. In your letter • Explain why you would like the job • Give details of why you would be a suitable person to employ • Say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia.

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
218 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six-year-old child. Write a letter to the parents. In your letter • Explain why you would like the job • Give details of why you would be a suitable person to employ • Say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia.