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you have seen an advertisement from a couple, who live in Australia, for someone to teach their two children your language for an year

you have seen an advertisement from a couple, who live in Australia, for someone to teach their two children your language for an year YLyAK
Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing this letter, in reference to your advertisement regarding the language teacher for your children. Let me tell you about my skills, I am a professional Hindi teacher and personality development coach. I am presently employed at an esteemed university in India. My skills not only include teaching Hindi as a language but also help students with personality development. Furthermore, I can help your children in inculcating communication and behavioural skills. I can help you with finding the places to visit and to stay during user visit to India. I would like to invite you to stay with me in order to give you satisfaction relating to my jobs. I feel this is an opportunity for me not only transfer my knowledge to your children, but also learn about Australian culture. This will be a mutual exchange of information. Looking forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, AAA
Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing this letter, in reference to your advertisement regarding the language teacher for your children.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
me
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
you about my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, I am a professional Hindi teacher and personality development coach. I am
presently
employed at an esteemed university in India. My
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
include teaching Hindi as a language
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
students with personality development.
Furthermore
, I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
your children in inculcating communication and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behavioural' is British English.
behavioural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you with finding the places to visit and to stay during user visit to India. I would like to invite you to stay with me in order to give you satisfaction relating to my jobs.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
feel this is an opportunity for me not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
transfer my knowledge to your children,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
learn about Australian culture. This will be a mutual exchange of information.

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Yours
faithfully
,

AAA
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IELTS letter you have seen an advertisement from a couple, who live in Australia, for someone to teach their two children your language for an year

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
151 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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