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You have registered for a six-month computer training program at Sambro Community College.Explain when you need to rent the room. Describe your requirements for the room. Ask about costs and the application process. You want to rent a room from Sambro Housing Agency.

You have registered for a six-month computer training program at Sambro Community College. Explain when you need to rent the room. Describe your requirements for the room. Ask about costs and the application process. You want to rent a room from Sambro Housing Agency. bYEnW
Hello Sambro housing Agency Subject: Room for rent Actually, I am going to enroll for six month program in one your college. For that reason, I am looking an any apartment on the rent near to my educational institute. My course will be running from next September and I am moving from the west part of the country so I will look on my Things how to manage it in the room. That s why, I need it before the Fall session. Right now, I am living in parents home over here I have everything on the house. So, I also want everything in the apartment which are really necessary for the human beings. it will be perfect, if you could provide me a two bedroom with kitchen and bathroom. Also, I have a car hence i need a car space for it. Secondly, Please can you confirm me how much rent are you charge for these type of apartment. Although, I search on internet and people are asking for 800 dollar a month in which they include the electricity and heating chargers. Furthermore, can you give me any time line about how many days do you need for processing. Even, What kind of documents do you required for the application. Moreover, you can contact me on this email address for any information regard to my application I will wait for your response Thank you
Hello
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sambro
housing Agency

Subject: Room for rent

Actually, I am going to enroll for six month
Possible agreement error. The noun 'program' seems to be countable, so consider using: "programs".
program
in one your college. For that reason, I am looking an any apartment on the rent near to my educational institute.

My course will be running from
next
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
September and
I am moving from the west part of the country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I will look on my Things how to manage it in the room. That s why, I need it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the Fall session.

Right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, I am living in parents home over here I have everything on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I
also
want everything in the apartment which are
really
necessary for the human beings.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
will be perfect, if you could provide me a two bedroom with kitchen and bathroom.
Also
, I have a car
hence
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
need a car space for it.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
can you confirm me how much rent are you charge for these type of apartment. Although, I search on internet and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are asking for 800
Possible agreement error. The noun 'dollar' seems to be countable, so consider using: "dollars".
dollar
a month in which they include the electricity and heating chargers.
Furthermore
, can you give me any time line about how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
days do you need for processing. Even, What kind of documents do you required for the application.
Moreover
, you can contact me on this email address for any information regard to my application

I will wait for your response

Thank you

IELTS letter You have registered for a six-month computer training program at Sambro Community College. Explain when you need to rent the room. Describe your requirements for the room. Ask about costs and the application process. You want to rent a room from Sambro Housing Agency.

Letter
  American English
4 paragraphs
234 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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