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You have just returned home after living with a family in an English-speaking country for six months. You now realise that you left a small bag of personal possessions in your room. v.2

You have just returned home after living with a family in an English-speaking country for six months. You now realise that you left a small bag of personal possessions in your room. v. 2
Dear Mrs Beth, I have safely reached home last Tuesday. I want to thank you for the warm hospitality and kindness that you and your family have rendered to me. It felt just like home living with all of you. As you are already aware that I was racing against time and rushing to catch my flight, I left a bag with my laptop, charger and some books in my room. I did not realize it at that time and it only occurred to me halfway through the flight. These books and the laptop are utterly important for my research. Besides, all of my works are saved on my laptop. I will highly appreciate it if you can go through the trouble of sending me the bag with its contents through a courier. Kindly use the FedEx service as they are quick and reliable in my country. The approximate weight of the bag will be around five kilograms, and I would like to bear the cost of the courier. Please provide me with your bank details as I will deposit the amount into your account in advance. I will be very grateful to you for this act of kindness. Thank you once again. Yours Sincerely, Faisal Ahmed
Dear Mrs Beth,

I have
safely
reached home last Tuesday. I want to thank you for the warm hospitality and kindness that you and your family have rendered to me. It felt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like home living with all of you. As you are already aware that I was racing against time and rushing to catch my flight, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
a bag with my laptop, charger and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
books in my room. I did not realize it at that time and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
occurred to me halfway through the flight.

These books and the laptop are
utterly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for my research.
Besides
, all of my works
are saved
on my laptop. I will
highly
appreciate it if you can go through the trouble of sending me the bag with its contents through a courier. Kindly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the FedEx service as they are quick and reliable in my country.

The approximate weight of the bag will be around five kilograms, and I would like to bear the cost of the courier.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
provide me with your bank
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
as I will deposit the amount into your account in advance.

I will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
grateful to you for this act of kindness. Thank you once again.

Yours
Sincerely
,

Faisal Ahmed
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS letter You have just returned home after living with a family in an English-speaking country for six months. You now realise that you left a small bag of personal possessions in your room. v. 2

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
206 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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