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You have been doing some voluntary work to help your local community. However, now you are unable to continue doing this work. v.3

You have been doing some voluntary work to help your local community. However, now you are unable to continue doing this work. v. 3
Dear Mr Patrick, I am a cadet in your community-based rehabilitation team and I have been with this group since 2016. I regret to inform you that I will not be able to continue with your organisation effective from 1st December 2020 as I am leaving for my home country once and for all. It has been a wonderful journey for me so far. I was predominantly working with the rehabilitation team, assisting the medical panel of experts as a volunteer doctor. My duties mainly comprised of the initial assessment of patients, who are from the indigent part of our local community. The assessment mainly included monitoring the physical, social and emotional wellness of them. As you may remember, I was pursuing my postgraduation at Boston University. Now that my study permit has expired, I am preparing to leave for my home country in a couple of weeks. Henceforth, can no longer work for the team I had been a part of. However, it would be my pleasure, to introduce one of my junior in college, who is willing to take over my position in the team. Now, the whole charade of recruitment of a new employee, the prerequisites and all, as intended, I leave it upon you. His name is Jackson Dave and he will be in contact with you soon. Once again, I would take this opportunity to thank everyone who stood beside me during my tenure with the group. I wish every success of the organisation. Sincerely yours, Jane Smith
Dear Mr Patrick,

I am a cadet in your community-based rehabilitation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
and I have been with this group since 2016. I regret to inform you that I will not be able to continue with your
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
effective from 1st December 2020 as I am leaving for my home country once and for all.

It has been a wonderful journey for me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far. I was
predominantly
working with the rehabilitation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
, assisting the medical panel of experts as a volunteer doctor. My duties
Did you mean "mainly composed of"?
mainly comprised of
the initial assessment of patients, who are from the indigent part of our local community. The assessment
mainly
included monitoring the physical, social and emotional wellness of them.

As you may remember, I was pursuing my
Possible spelling mistake found.
postgraduation
at Boston University.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
that my study permit has expired, I am preparing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
for my home country in a couple of weeks. Henceforth, can no longer work for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
I had been a part of.

However
, it would be my pleasure, to introduce one of my junior in college, who is willing to take over my position in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, the whole charade of recruitment of a new employee, the prerequisites and all, as intended, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
it upon you. His name is Jackson
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Dave and
he will be in contact with you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Once again, I would take this opportunity to thank everyone who stood beside me during my tenure with the group. I wish every success of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
.

Sincerely
yours,

Jane Smith
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS letter You have been doing some voluntary work to help your local community. However, now you are unable to continue doing this work. v. 3

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
252 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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