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You are organising a trip to Tenby, United Kingdom, for a group of students from Brighton, United Kingdom. Write to the Tour Manager, Mr Abraham, of an organisation that organises trips to Tenby. v.1

You are organising a trip to Tenby, United Kingdom, for a group of students from Brighton, United Kingdom. Write to the Tour Manager, Mr Abraham, of an organisation that organises trips to Tenby. v. 1
Dear Mr Abraham, I am Gordon Matthew and I had a phone conversation with you yesterday morning regarding the tour we are going to embark at Tenby. Now I am writing to seek some information about tour facilities you offer. We expect to reach Tenby On 14th October 2019 and will stay there for three days and two nights. We have 26 people in our group – 16 men and 8 women. In addition, two children will accompany the team and they are our dean’s daughters who are between 8-10 years old. Among the adults, 14 male and 6 female students will share rooms while two professors will have family suits as their wives and children’s are accompanying them. Hence, we will require 10 double-bedrooms with a great view and 2 family suits in the vicinity in total. We hope to keep our expenses moderate and have a peaceful experience while we stay there. Please send me details about the rooms you have available during the time, type of facilities and food you serve with estimated costs for all those. Also inform me about the recreational facilities, worth-visiting places and things-to-do in this area. Should we bring any special equipment or dress for our tour? Finally, please do inform me how can I book the reservation once I am convinced about your arrangement. I look forward to receiving the information as soon as possible from you. Thank you in advance for your kind cooperation. Yours sincerely, Gordon Matthew
Dear Mr Abraham,

I am Gordon Matthew and I had a phone conversation with you yesterday morning regarding the tour we are going to embark at
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tenby
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
I am writing to seek
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
information about tour facilities you offer.

We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
to reach
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tenby
On 14th October 2019 and will stay there for three days and two nights. We have 26
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in our group
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
16
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and 8 women.
In addition
, two children will accompany the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
team and
they are our dean’s daughters who are between 8-10 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. Among the adults, 14 male and 6 female students will share rooms while two professors will have family suits as their wives and children’s are accompanying them.
Hence
, we will require 10 double-bedrooms with a great view and 2 family suits in the vicinity in total. We hope to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
our expenses moderate and have a peaceful experience while we stay there.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
me
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
about the rooms you have available during the time, type of facilities and food you serve with estimated costs for all those.
Also
inform me about the recreational facilities, worth-visiting places and things-to-do in this area. Should we bring any special equipment or dress for our tour?
Finally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
do inform me how can I book the reservation once I
am convinced
about your arrangement.

I look forward to receiving the information as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible from you. Thank you in advance for your kind cooperation.

Yours
sincerely
,

Gordon Matthew
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS letter You are organising a trip to Tenby, United Kingdom, for a group of students from Brighton, United Kingdom. Write to the Tour Manager, Mr Abraham, of an organisation that organises trips to Tenby. v. 1

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
247 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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