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You are applying for a new job as a teacher after many failed trials, write an email to the last school you would like to apply for

You are applying for a new job as a teacher after many failed trials, write an email to the last school you would like to apply for leNBo
Dear MS Marwa, Thank you for your concern. I have been working for more than 8 years and yet couldn't find a good place where I can learn more and add to my experience. I know that my bachelor degree is the main issue to be refused, although I have worked hard on my skills to develop my career. Being graduated from language school helps me a lot to acquire a good language level, nevertheless, I have been accused with my bachelor degree as if it is not a high education level. Moreover, some cannot believe that I returned back from UAE after only one year because of some family circumstance. MS Marwa, I am a hard-working teacher as I am usually praised by my supervisors and colleagues, and I am planning to have my CELTA soon; also I have finished my TESOL with pass A. hopefully, you will give me the needed advice so I can keep on growing.
Dear MS
Possible spelling mistake found.
Marwa
,

Thank you for your concern. I have been working for more than 8 years and
yet
couldn't find a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
place where I can learn more and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to my experience. I know that my bachelor degree is the main issue to
be refused
, although I have worked
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
on my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to develop my career.
Being graduated
from language school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
me a lot to acquire a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
language level,
nevertheless
, I have
been accused
with my bachelor degree as if it is not a high education level.

Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cannot believe that I
Consider using "returned".
returned back
A determiner is probably missing here: "from the UAE".
from UAE
after
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "families"?
family
circumstance.

MS
Possible spelling mistake found.
Marwa
, I am a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-working teacher as I am
usually
praised by my supervisors and colleagues, and I am planning to have my
Possible spelling mistake found.
CELTA
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
;
also
I have finished my TESOL with pass A.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
hopefully
, you will give me the needed advice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
on growing.

IELTS letter You are applying for a new job as a teacher after many failed trials, write an email to the last school you would like to apply for

Letter
  American English
5 paragraphs
160 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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