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You are applying for a job and need a letter of reference from someone who knew you when you were at college. v.3

You are applying for a job and need a letter of reference from someone who knew you when you were at college. v. 3
Dear Mr Hampson, I am Muller Fortner, one of your research assistants and lucky students, whom you have bestowed your blessing, wisdom and guidance during my academic years at the MIU University. Today, I am writing to ask a favour from you- to write a reference letter for me that I would require to submit to a prospective employer. I have been one of your most ardent students and we have finished several projects together including the 'Impact of Western attitude to developing countries' which was published in 'The Social Affair' magazine. After I have completed my post-graduation in Social Science from MIU University in December 2019, I have been trying to start a job and recently I have been invited to an interview as a researcher at Social Hub, an international company who works for social welfare in many countries. I applied for the job because it would enable me to closely work with other talented researchers and let me contribute to great social causes. I hope you would be happy if I get the job and continue doing the things you always wanted me to do. I hope you would be kind enough to write a reference letter for me mentioning how you know me, my strength, academic performance and how I might be suitable for a research-based job. Thank you in advance. I look forward to getting your reply soon. Respectfully yours, Muller Fortner
Dear Mr
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hampson
,

I am Muller
Possible spelling mistake found.
Fortner
, one of your research assistants and lucky students, whom you have bestowed your blessing, wisdom and guidance during my academic years at the
Possible spelling mistake found.
MIU
University.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, I am writing to ask a
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
from you- to write a reference letter for me that I would require
Did you mean "submitting"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'require' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to submit
to a prospective employer.

I have been one of your most ardent
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
students and
we have finished several projects together including the 'Impact of Western attitude to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
' which
was published
in 'The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
Affair' magazine. After I have completed my post-graduation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
Science from
Possible spelling mistake found.
MIU
University in December 2019, I have been trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a job and recently I have
been invited
to an interview as a researcher at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
Hub, an international
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
who works for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
welfare in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries.

I applied for the job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it would enable me to
closely
work with other talented researchers and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
me contribute to great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
causes. I hope you would be happy if I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the job and continue doing the things you always wanted me to do.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
hope you would be kind
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to write a reference letter for me mentioning how you know me, my strength, academic performance and how I might be suitable for a research-based job.

Thank you in advance. I look forward to getting your reply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Respectfully
yours,

Muller
Possible spelling mistake found.
Fortner
0Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS letter You are applying for a job and need a letter of reference from someone who knew you when you were at college. v. 3

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
236 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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