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You are a school staff and have received the following email from a student.

You are a school staff and have received the following email from a student. BaVAj
Dear Peter, I’m writing in reply to your letter requesting information about the school trip to the historical museum organized next month. First, I would like to tell you that the trip fee is normally 35$. However, because of the Covid-19 pandemic, now it has a discount 20% for students, only 28$. It is reasonable price these days. Second, the trip is available on July 20th, 2021. It will be started at 8 o’clock in the morning. You should arrive in time to take a comfortable seat on the bus. Moreover, the school bus will be ready at the schoolyard, so you do not care about catching bus. Third, there are several necessary things that I would recommend you to bring with on the trip such as: cameras, notebooks, pens because they could help you take some nice photos and record interesting history and culture knowledge. Finally, the price includes lunch, therefore you do not need to bring meal with, you should take some water. I hope that these information will be useful for you. Please do not hesitate to contact me if you need any further information. Your sincerely,
Dear Peter,

I’m writing in reply to your letter requesting information about the school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
to the historical museum organized
next
month.

First
, I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
you that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
fee is
normally
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$35".
35$
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the Covid-19 pandemic,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
it has a discount 20% for students,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$28".
28$
. It is reasonable price these days.

Second, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
is available on July 20th, 2021. It will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at 8 o’clock in the morning. You should arrive in time to take a comfortable seat on the bus.
Moreover
, the school bus will be ready at the schoolyard,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
you do not care about catching bus.

Third, there are several necessary things that I would recommend you to bring with on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
such as: cameras, notebooks, pens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nice photos and record interesting history and culture knowledge.

Finally
, the price includes lunch,
therefore
you do not need to bring meal with, you should take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
water.

I hope that
Did you mean "this information" or "these informations"?
these information
will be useful for you.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
do not hesitate to contact me if you need any
further
information.

Did you mean "Yours"? (complimentary close)
Your
sincerely
,
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IELTS letter You are a school staff and have received the following email from a student.

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
190 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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