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You are a high school teacher. A student of yours has just graduated with excellent marks from high school. This person wants to find work. • Explain how you feel about her high school grades. • Explain why a college education is good. • Explain why going to work instead of college is unwise.

Dear Sara, I hope this email finds you well. I am really proud of you for taking your study seriously and getting a high score in exams. I wanted to give you some advice for your bright future and I think that you should go to college instead of starting a job. After graduating from high school college is the first step in every student's journey and you shouldn't miss that. A college education is important because it gives a chance to earn a degree. Most of the high pay level jobs require a college degree nowadays. So I think that getting a college degree is a must. I know that it's tempting for many students to start a job and earn money, but I think that after the job you will find it difficult to start college. Work-life is really hectic these days and it's hard to manage. If you need money for your college, you can try doing a part-time job. I hope my suggestions help you to make a good decision for your future. Regards, xxxx
Dear Sara,

I hope this email finds you well. I am
really
proud of you for taking your study
seriously
and getting a high score in exams.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
wanted to give you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advice for your bright future and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that you should go to college
instead
of starting a job.

After graduating from high school college is the
first
step in every student's journey and you shouldn't miss that. A college education is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it gives a chance to earn a degree. Most of the high pay level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
require a college degree nowadays.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that getting a college degree is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
.

I know that it's tempting for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
students to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and earn money,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
you will find it difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
college. Work-life is
really
hectic these days and it's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to manage. If you need money for your college, you can try doing a part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. I hope my suggestions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
decision for your future.

Regards,

Possible spelling mistake found.
xxxx

IELTS letter You are a high school teacher. A student of yours has just graduated with excellent marks from high school. This person wants to find work. • Explain how you feel about her high school grades. • Explain why a college education is good. • Explain why going to work instead of college is unwise.

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
178 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • You are a high school teacher. A student of yours has just graduated with excellent marks from high school. This person wants to find work. • Explain how you feel about her high school grades. • Explain why a college education is good. • Explain why going to work instead of college is unwise.