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Write a letter to your manager asking for permission to give a presentation. In your letter: describe what type of presentation you have in mind what topics it would cover and how long it would take who should participate in the presentation and where should it be conducted

Write a letter to your manager asking for permission to give a presentation. In your letter: describe what type of presentation you have in mind what topics it would cover and how long it would take who should participate in the presentation and where should it be conducted Ay2l
Dear Mr. John, I am writing in regards to holding a presentation about the information I have learnt from attending the "Work-life balance" conference last Monday. As you know, some of our employees have filed complaints about hard to keep a work-life balance, and they would like to receive several suggestions. Thus, I think it is a great opportunity to present what I have learnt from the seminar. The presentation will be started with a short survey and some statistical numbers, end with heart-warming advice. Three main concepts will be covered in the presentation which are the methods of expressing stress and emotions, the benefits of efficient communication and the subsidies that will be provided to employees. The total estimated time of the presentation is around 30 minutes. I recommend all employees to attend the presentation as it can potentially benefit them all. The main conference room is the most ideal location that we can place the presentation as it has sufficient seats for all employees. I look forward to hearing back from you. Yours Sincerely, Annabel
Dear Mr. John,

I am writing
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
in regards to
holding a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
presentation
about the information I have
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
from attending the
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Work-life balance
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
conference last Monday.

As you know,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of our employees have filed complaints about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
a work-life balance, and they would like to receive several suggestions.
Thus
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is a great opportunity to present what I have
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
from the seminar. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
presentation
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
with a short survey and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
statistical numbers,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
with heart-warming advice.

Three main concepts will
be covered
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
presentation
which are the methods of expressing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and emotions, the benefits of efficient communication and the subsidies that will
be provided
to employees. The total estimated time of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
presentation
is around 30 minutes.

I recommend all employees to attend the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
presentation
as it can
potentially
benefit them all. The main conference room is the most ideal location that we can place the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
presentation
as it has sufficient seats for all employees.

I look forward to hearing back from you.

Yours
Sincerely
,

Annabel
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IELTS letter Write a letter to your manager asking for permission to give a presentation. In your letter: describe what type of presentation you have in mind what topics it would cover and how long it would take who should participate in the presentation and where should it be conducted

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
176 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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