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Write a letter to Laura Mensah to apply for the funding ?

Write a letter to Laura Mensah to apply for the funding? rKO2N
28 bretanby road NE10 9HA Felling Laura Mensahcareer grant Hanton roadHN1 7BU Dear miss Mensah, I would like to apply for career funding. Through to career grants, every year numerous of people get fund to develop their career. Luckily, most of get money to pay courses fees, equipment and other expenses. Currently, I am doing 'Health And Social Care` course in Newcastle college which is level 1 will be finished in 6 months and after that I would start my next level 3. for further education I should have to pay fees. My ambitions are to work in a care home as a carer. In the past, when I was in my country I did volunteer in care home for few months because I always feel great while giving back to my country. Fortunately, in this country I have received chance to full fill my dream. As, I told you before for level 3 I should have to give fees on the contrary, I could not afford my fees and other expense. Fortunately, if I received you are money it will cover my all expenses. Firstly, the most important my college fees which is main expense and huge stress for me. Secondly, I will buy study related equipment. furthermore on my travel and visits. I completely deserve this money because I am bright student and who can easily achieves his goals. Education becomes not affordable for everyone even in the developed countries due of this my financially situation is really weak. You are only hope for me to complete my study and get my dream job. If I will be able to received funding would be help other student and encourage people to help others. To sum up, I believe that I am the most deserving person for this money. Which is help me to complete my study and develop my career. I am looking forward to hearing from you. yours sincerely Henna.
28
Possible spelling mistake found.
bretanby
road NE10 9HA Felling Laura
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mensahcareer
grant
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hanton
roadHN1 7BU

Dear miss
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mensah
,

I would like to apply for career funding. Through to career grants, every year numerous of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
fund to develop their career. Luckily, most of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to pay courses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
, equipment and other expenses.

Currently
, I am doing 'Health And Social Care` course in Newcastle college which is level 1 will
be finished
in 6 months and after that I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
my
next
level 3.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
further
education I should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
. My ambitions are to work in a care home as a carer. In the past, when I was in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
I did volunteer in care home for few months
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I always feel great while giving back to my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Fortunately
, in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
I have received chance to full fill my dream.

As, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
for level 3 I should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
on the contrary
, I could not afford my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
and other expense.
Fortunately
, if I received you are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
it will cover my all expenses.
Firstly
, the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
my college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fees
which is main expense and huge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
for me.
Secondly
, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
study related equipment.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
furthermore
on my travel and visits.

I completely deserve this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
Please check whether an article is missing: "am a bright" or "am an bright"
am bright
student and who can
easily
achieves his goals. Education becomes not affordable for everyone even in the developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
due of this my
financially
situation is
really
weak. You are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
hope for me to complete my study and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
my dream job. If I will be able to received funding would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
other student and encourage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
others.

To sum up, I believe that I am the most deserving person for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. Which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me to complete my study and develop my career.

I am looking forward to hearing from you.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
yours
sincerely
Henna.
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IELTS letter Write a letter to Laura Mensah to apply for the funding?

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
323 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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