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apply for Housekeeper job

apply for Housekeeper job e3NEW
Dear Mrs. D. Keller, My name is Nemat, I am writing to apply for the housekeeper position advertised on Friday’s newspaper. I believe I will be the best fit for this position as I have quite a vast experience in housekeeping, dating back to 1995. I worked as a housekeeper in Hilton’s Hotel for a couple of years before I have moved to the city in 2001. After relocating I joined the Salvadorian ambassador household as the senior house keeps. There I had the honor to supervise the service in prestigious events at a sophisticated level. Furthermore, I have worked with both children and pet owner households. I graduated from Misses Maisy’s College, which is a world top ranked institution, and graduated with an honors degree in service and hospitality. I have attached my resume, in which you will find that I am also a trained first aider. Thank you for considering my application and I am looking forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Nemat
Dear Mrs. D. Keller,

My name is
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nemat
, I am writing to apply for the housekeeper position advertised on Friday’s newspaper.

I believe I will be the best fit for this position as I have quite a vast experience in housekeeping, dating back to 1995. I worked as a housekeeper in Hilton’s Hotel for a couple of years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to the city in 2001.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
relocating I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
the Salvadorian ambassador household as the senior
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
. There I had the honor to supervise the service in prestigious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
at a sophisticated level.
Furthermore
, I have worked with both children and pet owner households. I graduated from Misses
Possible spelling mistake found.
Maisy
’s College, which is a world top ranked institution, and graduated with an honors degree in service and hospitality. I have attached my resume, in which you will find that I am
also
a trained
first
aider.

Thank you for considering my
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
application and
I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Yours
faithfully
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Nemat
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IELTS letter apply for Housekeeper job

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
165 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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