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There have been some problems with the bus service, especially its reliability, in your area over the last two weeks. Write a letter to the manager of the bus company. In your letter • describe what the problems are • explain how these problems are affecting you • suggest what you would like the company to do

There have been some problems with the bus service, especially its reliability, in your area over the last two weeks. Write a letter to the manager of the bus company. In your letter • describe what the problems are • explain how these problems are affecting you • suggest what you would like the company to do 6EA8
Dear Sir or Madam, I write to bring to your attention some issues regarding the services being delivered by your transportation organization. Over the last two weeks, the driver who is responsible for my region arrived 30 minutes behind schedule and as a result, I was 30 minutes behind schedule and late for work. Also, the bus seats are in complete disarray as the seats are torn with metal popping out of the edges. Over the last two weeks, I have been arriving late for work and this is affecting my current work performance. I also get to work with stains on my clothes resulting from the unkempt bus seats. In light of the aforementioned issues, I’d like to propose some solutions to improve the service. A panel should be set up to look into the driver’s steady decline in punctuality. In addition, the tattered bus seats need to be refurbished so that commuters’ clothes are neither torn nor stained. Due to the nature of my profession, I can equally offer a free-of-charge hands-on training titled “Personal Effectiveness and Time Management Skills” to your drivers. We can arrange a meeting where the possibility of this can be further explored. Kind Regards, Julie Baiye
Dear Sir or Madam,

I write to bring to your attention
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
issues regarding the services
being delivered
by your transportation organization. Over the last two weeks, the driver who is responsible for my region arrived 30 minutes behind schedule and
as a result
, I was 30 minutes behind schedule and late for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Also
, the bus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seats
are in complete disarray as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seats
are torn
with metal popping out of the edges. Over the last two weeks, I have been arriving late for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and this is affecting my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
performance. I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with stains on my clothes resulting from the unkempt bus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seats
. In light of the aforementioned issues, I’d like to propose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the service. A panel should
be set
up to look into the driver’s steady decline in punctuality.
In addition
, the tattered bus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
seats
need to
be refurbished
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that commuters’ clothes are neither torn nor stained.

Due to the nature of my profession, I can
equally
offer a free-of-charge hands-on training titled “Personal Effectiveness and Time Management
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Skills
” to your drivers. We can arrange a meeting where the possibility of this can be
further
explored.

Kind Regards, Julie
Possible spelling mistake found.
Baiye
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IELTS letter There have been some problems with the bus service, especially its reliability, in your area over the last two weeks. Write a letter to the manager of the bus company. In your letter • describe what the problems are • explain how these problems are affecting you • suggest what you would like the company to do

Letter
  American English
4 paragraphs
202 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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