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There are a number of leading athletes and sports star earning substantial amounts of money compared to other professionals. How far do you agree or disagree?

There are a number of leading athletes and sports star earning substantial amounts of money compared to other professionals. How far 3A7Nd
There are a number of leading athletes and sports star earning substantial amounts of money compared to other professionals. While most fans would never find fault with their favourite footballers, other people are questioning the legitimacy of the inflated salaries. I personally, do not agree with the criticisms of their earnings. In this essay I will discuss the issues using examples from boxing and football to support my arguments. Firstly, it is true that some sports stars are paid more than a reasonable amount of money. This is largely because many sports associations have substantial funds from the revenue generated from ticket sales, merchandise and sponsorship to pay these amounts. For instance, a recent FIFA report revealed that some footballers receive over a million pounds each month. As a result, there is growing criticism over sports star salaries. However, there are valid arguments in favour of these high salaries too. Sports professionals risk their health in their line of work. This is largely because they must push their bodies to superhuman levels and many contact sports have risks of injuries. For example, a study from the world boxing federation found that over 90% of boxers suffer from injuries that impact their lives expectancy. The worst of these included brain injuries, spinal cord trauma and even death. Consequently, I firmly believe this makes them worthy of a high remuneration. To conclude, I sincerely feel sports stars deserve the pay they receive. It is predicted that as long as there is demand for sports entertainment, there will continue to be growth in the salaries for sports personalities.
There are a number of leading athletes and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
star earning substantial amounts of money compared to other professionals. While most fans would never find fault with their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
footballers, other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are questioning the legitimacy of the inflated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
. I
personally
, do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the criticisms of their earnings. In this essay I will discuss the issues using examples from boxing and football to support my arguments.

Firstly
, it is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stars
are paid
more than a reasonable amount of money. This is
largely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
associations have substantial funds from the revenue generated from ticket sales, merchandise and sponsorship to pay these amounts.
For instance
, a recent FIFA report revealed that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
footballers receive over a million pounds each month.
As a result
, there is growing criticism over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
star
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
.
However
, there are valid arguments in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of these high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
too.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
professionals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
their health in their line of work. This is
largely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
push their bodies to superhuman levels and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
contact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
of injuries.
For example
, a study from the world boxing federation found that over 90% of boxers suffer from injuries that impact their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
expectancy. The worst of these included brain injuries, spinal cord trauma and even death.
Consequently
, I
firmly
believe this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them worthy of a high remuneration.

To conclude
, I
sincerely
feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stars
deserve the pay they receive. It
is predicted
that as long as there is demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
entertainment, there will continue to be growth in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
personalities.
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IELTS letter There are a number of leading athletes and sports star earning substantial amounts of money compared to other professionals. How far

Letter
  American English
3 paragraphs
265 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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