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The following appeared in a newsletter published by the Appleton school district In a recent study more than 5 000 adolescents were asked how often they ate meals with their families Almost 30 percent of the teens said they ate at least seven meals per we

The following appeared in a newsletter published by the Appleton school district In a recent study more than 5 000 adolescents were asked how often they ate meals with their families Almost 30 percent of the teens said they ate at least seven meals per we Ajrow
In the newsletter publication, the author recommends families of adolescents to eat their meals together, in order to turn troubled teens away from bad behaviors. The author reached this conclusion based on a study, where 30% of over 5000 adolescents claimed that they eat meals with their families, and these teens were observed to be less likely to try drugs and alcohol. The author also extrapolates from the conclusions of this study, that these teens are also less likely to have low grades in school, low self esteem and depression. While the author suggestion appears sound, it relies on several unwarranted assumptions. In order to reach a conclusion, three questions must be answered. Firstly, can results from a study, in Appleton School district, be applied to other districts/ states? Or in other words, are all regions homogenous, so as the observations from one district can be assumed to also lead to same conclusions in other places? It is possible that Appleton District is a very religious district and hence, most teenages, irrespective of wether they eat meals with their families, are less likely to try drugs and alcohol. Also, it is possible that, this same district has relatively easier school curriculum and hence less students suffer from anxiety, and get better scores. If any of the above is true, then the author’s recommendation that eating meals with family will lead to less depression and better school grades, does not stand water. Secondly, how do we know that the teenagers did not lie on the survey? It is possible that the kids were scared of their teachers and parents, and hence lied about not having tried drugs or alcohol. Unless an actual medical examination suggets lack of drugs and alcohol in one’s system, it is not prudent to believe everything that one says. Also, the survey results focus more on the students who eat a meal with their parents, than the ones who do not. What percentage of adolescents who do not eat with their families, have good grades in school and do not engage in drugs/ alcohol consumption? We need answers to that as well. Unless, a full 360 degree view of this survey is provided, it would not be smart to derive a conclusion. Lastly, is it possible that the advantages that the author has listed are actually a result of some other factors, and do not have much to do with merely eating meals with the family? Consider the example, of a teenager, who lives with his single parent, and his parent works two jobs to put food on a table, for this child, eating a meal with his parent is not possible, but the reasons he is not able to score well in exams, is not because he is not eating a meal with his parent, but because of other personal/financial issues. Or, consider the case of another student, he works part-time jobs to assist his family financially and thus cannot make time to eat meals with his family, his anxiety and low grades are due to financial reasons and has nothing to do with his family’s eating habits. Hence, in order to substantiate his claim, the author must find out more background information of the teenagers questioned, and understand wether an alternate underlying relationship exists that relates to dwindling grades and poor performance at school. In conclusion, the author’s claim relies on several unjustified assumptions and in order to reach to a solution, the above questions must be answered.
In the newsletter publication, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
recommends
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families
of adolescents to
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eat
their
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meals
together, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to turn troubled teens away from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
behaviors. The
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author
reached this
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conclusion
based on a study, where 30% of over 5000 adolescents claimed that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
, and these teens
were observed
to be
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less
likely to try
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drugs
and
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alcohol
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
also
extrapolates from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conclusions
of this study, that these teens are
also
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less
likely to have low
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grades
in
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school
, low
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self esteem
and depression. While the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
suggestion appears sound, it relies on several unwarranted assumptions. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to reach a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conclusion
, three questions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be answered
.

Firstly
, can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "result"
results
from a study, in Appleton
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School
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district
,
be applied
to
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other
districts/ states? Or in
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other
words, are all regions homogenous,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
as the observations from one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
district
can
be assumed
to
also
lead to same
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conclusions
in
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other
places? It is
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possible
that Appleton
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District
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
religious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
district
and
hence
, most
Possible spelling mistake found.
teenages
, irrespective of
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wether
they
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eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
, are
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less
likely to try
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drugs
and
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alcohol
.
Also
, it is
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possible
that, this same
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district
has
relatively
easier
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school
curriculum and
hence
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun students is countable.
less
students suffer from anxiety, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better scores. If any of the above is true, then the
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author’s
recommendation that
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eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
with
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family
will lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
depression and better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grades
, does not stand water.

Secondly
, how do we know that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
did not lie on the survey? It is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possible
that the kids
were scared
of their teachers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, and
hence
lied about not having tried
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
. Unless an actual medical examination
Possible spelling mistake found.
suggets
lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
in one’s system, it is not prudent to believe everything that one says.
Also
, the survey results focus more on the students
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who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, than the
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ones
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do not. What percentage of adolescents
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who
do not
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eat
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
, have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grades
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and do not engage in drugs/
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alcohol
consumption? We need answers to that
as well
. Unless, a full 360 degree view of this survey
is provided
, it would not be smart to derive a conclusion.

Lastly
, is it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possible
that the advantages that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
has listed are actually a result of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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other
factors, and do not have much to do with
merely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
? Consider the example, of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
,
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who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
with his single
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parent
, and his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
works two jobs to put food on a table, for this child,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
with his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
is not
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possible
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the reasons he is not able to score well in exams, is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
with his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
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other
personal/financial issues. Or, consider the case of another student, he works part-time jobs to assist his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
financially
and
thus
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
time to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
with his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, his anxiety and low
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grades
are due to financial reasons and has nothing to do with his
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family’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
habits.
Hence
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to substantiate his claim, the
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author
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
find out more background information of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
questioned, and understand
Possible spelling mistake found.
wether
an alternate underlying relationship exists that relates to dwindling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grades
and poor performance at school.

In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author’s
claim relies on several unjustified assumptions and in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to reach to a solution, the above questions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be answered
.
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IELTS letter The following appeared in a newsletter published by the Appleton school district In a recent study more than 5 000 adolescents were asked how often they ate meals with their families Almost 30 percent of the teens said they ate at least seven meals per we

Letter
  American English
5 paragraphs
583 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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