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The bar chart illustrates the amount of third-year foreign students being registered in two courses in computer science at a Canadian college.

The bar chart illustrates the amount of third-year foreign students being registered in two courses in computer science at a Canadian college. VBPwQ
The bar chart illustrates the amount of third-year foreign students being registered in two courses in computer science at a Canadian college. Overall, among four Asian countries ( China, Sir Lanka, Malaysia, Singapore) and one European country ( France), female students were more than male students. There are more male students registered in Database course and females students in Networking course. The largest portion of foreign students in this computer science department was from China, 18 students totally; while, the least amount of students was from France, 5 students. The total students from Singapore were equal to those from Sri Lanka, total 12 students, which occupied the second place. Following the two countries, there was Malaysia with total 11 students, in the third spot. A close look at the chart reveals that female students from the four Asian countries were more interested in studying Networking course; while, there is no French female student studying this course. Around one third of total Asian female students studied this course. On the opposite side, all male students enjoyed learning Databse course, especially those from these four Asian countries. Among nine Chinese male students, eight were enrolled in Databse course. Six out of eight male students from Sri Lanka studies this course. The number of male students from Singapore, Malaysia and France were 4, 3 and 1 respectively.  Only about 10-20% of male students studies Networking course.
The bar chart illustrates the amount of third-year foreign
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students
being registered
in two
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courses
in computer science at a Canadian college.

Overall
, among four Asian
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countries
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(
China, Sir Lanka, Malaysia, Singapore) and one European
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country
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(
France),
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female
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students
were more than male
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students
. There are more male
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students
registered in Database
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course
and
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females
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students
in Networking course.

The largest portion of foreign
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students
in this computer science department was from China, 18
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students
totally
; while, the least amount of
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students
was from France, 5
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students
. The
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total
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students
from Singapore were equal to those from Sri Lanka,
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total
12
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students
, which occupied the second place. Following the two
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countries
, there was Malaysia with
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total
11
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students
, in the third spot.

A close look at the chart reveals that
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female
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students
from the four Asian
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countries
were more interested in studying Networking
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course
; while, there is no French
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female
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student
studying this
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course
. Around one third of
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total
Asian
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female
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students
studied this course.

On the opposite side, all male
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students
enjoyed learning
Possible spelling mistake found.
Databse
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course
,
especially
those from these four Asian
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countries
. Among nine Chinese male
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students
, eight 
were enrolled
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Databse
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course
. Six out of eight male
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students
from Sri Lanka studies this
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course
. The number of male
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students
from Singapore, Malaysia and France were 4, 3 and 1
respectively
.  
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
about 10-20% of male
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students
studies Networking
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course
.

IELTS letter The bar chart illustrates the amount of third-year foreign students being registered in two courses in computer science at a Canadian college.

Letter
  American English
5 paragraphs
232 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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