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Thank letter to school management even though scholarship is lost

Thank letter to school management even though scholarship is lost M30MQ
Dear Recruitment and Admission Office, NOTIFICATION OF IELTS EXAMINATION RESULTS AND THANKING THE SCHOOL FOR GIVING ME A CHANCE TO MEET THE CONDITIONS OF ADMISSION. I write to report back on the condition of meeting IELTS examination of 6. 5 overall with writing not below 6. 5. Its sad to notify you that I have failed to meet the condition, I have performed badly during the 4th December examination with the overall grade of 6. 0, I have today received the provision results and the hard copied will be available by 10 of January, 2022. THANKS GIVING I would like to express my gratitude and appreciation to the University of Manchester for giving me a condition offer on application for the program of MSc Management and Information Systems: Change and Development. To be honest, the University through Admission and Recruitment office has been so kind enough on offering me 8 months of meeting the condition to fulfil the admission requirements. My heartiest THANK YOU goes out to Professor Richard Heeks and whosoever communicated to me any information from the time of advertisement, condition offer and email reminders on meeting the conditions. I have greatly confirmed that the failure of meeting the conditions as my own cause (failure to prepare is preparing to fail). On another note, I would argue myself that I took great time of study by registering with GEL IELTS to help me prepare for IELTS exams, but this doesn’t add up if the outcome of the results is below the accepted level, even though GEL IELTS’s was giving me impressive responses on the exercises they were giving me as a way of preparing me to the actual IELTS examinations by British Council. I wish well to all successful students taken during this intake, it is my great wish joining them, joining Manchester University, joining MSc Management and Information Systems: Change and Development but IELTS have failed me. Since scholarship is a very competitive game and that only outstanding and talented students are given, schools and sponsors set up their selection criteria and that they stick to them and make sure that every criterion which has been set out be followed. Had it been that there are some conditions where school admissions would put based on class performance, I would have been one of the students requesting that condition (try me and see how I will perform in class). Once again thank you very much and keep on giving such a chance to some students as other students would meet the required conditions. Thank you. Francis Nyirongo
Dear Recruitment and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Admission
Office,

NOTIFICATION OF IELTS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
EXAMINATION
RESULTS AND THANKING THE SCHOOL FOR
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
GIVING
ME A CHANCE TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
MEET
THE CONDITIONS OF ADMISSION.

I write to report back on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
IELTS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
examination
of 6. 5
overall
with writing not below 6. 5.

Did you mean "It's" (="It is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Its
sad to notify you that I have failed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
, I have performed
badly
during the 4th December
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
examination
with the
overall
grade of 6. 0, I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
received the provision results and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
copied will be available by 10 of
When specifying a month and year, the comma is unnecessary: "January 2022".
January, 2022
.

THANKS GIVING

I would like to express my gratitude and appreciation to the University of Manchester for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
me a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
offer on application for the program of
Consider using a more common abbreviation of this university degree.
MSc
Management and Information Systems:
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Change
and Development. To be honest, the University through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Admission
and Recruitment office has been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
kind
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
on offering me 8 months of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
to fulfil the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admission
requirements. My heartiest
It appears that 'thank you' is missing a hyphen or needs to be quoted.
THANK YOU
goes out to Professor Richard
Possible spelling mistake found.
Heeks
and whosoever communicated to me any information from the time of advertisement,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
offer and email reminders on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
the conditions. I have
greatly
confirmed that the failure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
the conditions as my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
cause (failure to prepare is preparing to fail). On another note, I would argue myself that I took great time of study by registering with GEL IELTS to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me prepare for IELTS exams,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this doesn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
up if the outcome of the results is below the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
level,
even though
GEL
Consider using the plural form here: "IELTSs".
IELTS’s
was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
me impressive responses on the exercises they were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
me as a way of preparing me to the actual IELTS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
examinations
by British Council.

I wish well to all successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
taken during this intake, it is my great wish joining them, joining Manchester University, joining
Consider using a more common abbreviation of this university degree.
MSc
Management and Information Systems:
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Change
and Development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
IELTS have failed me.

Since scholarship is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
competitive game and that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
outstanding and talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
, schools and sponsors set up their selection criteria and that they stick to them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that every criterion which has
been set
out
be followed
. Had it been that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
conditions where school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admissions
would put based on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
performance, I would have been one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
requesting that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
(try me and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
how I will perform in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
).

Once again thank you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
such a chance to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
as other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the required conditions.

Thank you.

Francis
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nyirongo
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IELTS letter Thank letter to school management even though scholarship is lost

Letter
  American English
10 paragraphs
428 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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