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Talking about my family all day

Dear Yoko Let me tell you about my family. I live with my mum, my dad and my big sister. We live in California. My mum’s name is Carmen. She’s Mexican and she speaks English and Spanish. She’s a Spanish teacher. She’s short and slim, she’s got long, brown hair and brown eyes. My dad’s name is David. He’s American. He’s tall and a little fat! He’s got short brown hair and blue eyes. He works in a bank. My sister Shania is 14 and she loves listening to music. She listens to music all the time! She’s got long brown hair and green eyes, like me. I’ve got long hair too. We’ve got a pet dog, Brandy. He’s black and white and very friendly. Write soon and tell me about your family. Love Kelly
Dear Yoko

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
me
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
you about my family. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with my mum, my dad and my
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
sister. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in California. My mum’s name is Carmen.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
She’s
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Mexican and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
she
speaks English and Spanish.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
She’s
a Spanish teacher.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
She
’s short and slim,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
she’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
got
long, brown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hair
and brown eyes. My dad’s name is David.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
He’s
American.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
He’s
tall and a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
!
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
He
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
got
short brown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hair
and blue eyes.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
He
works in a bank. My sister Shania is
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
14 and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loves
listening to music.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
She
listens to music all the time!
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
She’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
got
long brown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hair
and green eyes, like me. I’ve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
got
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hair
too. We’ve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
got
a pet dog, Brandy.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
He’s
black and white and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
friendly.

Write
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
me about your family.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Love


Kelly

IELTS letter Talking about my family all day

Letter
  American English
5 paragraphs
134 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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