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semiformal letter ,letter to colleauge

semiformal letter, letter to colleauge QVkAX
Dear Mrs Marina, I am writing this letter to enquire you about the Technical Seminar, conducted by our organization in the coming days. Myself and my colleagues are keenly interested to join you in the conference. If time permits kindly send me a comprehensive list of the program schedule, I believe that this event could indeed add up our technical knowledge which is quite useful in current projects. I would like to know more detailed information regarding the time and dates of the venue. We are a group of five members, Three members from the technical service team and two candidates from the management section, How much would be the total registration fee? , Is there any additional participation fee? , Also let me know that any possible discounts available for the desired candidates. I am looking forward to hearing from you as early as possible. Yours Sincerely, Arathy E. C.
Dear Mrs Marina,

I am writing this letter to
Possible spelling mistake. 'enquire' is British English.
enquire
you about the Technical Seminar, conducted by our organization in the coming days.
When referring to yourself and somebody else, put their name first. Also check whether the nominative form "I" is required here.
Myself
and my colleagues are
keenly
interested to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
you in the conference.

If time permits kindly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
me a comprehensive list of the program schedule, I believe that this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
could
indeed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
up our technical knowledge which is quite useful in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
projects. I would like to know more detailed information regarding the time and dates of the venue.

We are a group of five members, Three members from the technical service team and two candidates from the management section, How much would be the total registration fee?
Loose punctuation mark.
,
Is there any additional participation fee?
Loose punctuation mark.
,
Also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
me know that any possible discounts available for the desired candidates.

I am looking forward to hearing from you as early as possible.

Yours
Sincerely
,

Possible spelling mistake found.
Arathy
E. C.
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IELTS letter semiformal letter, letter to colleauge

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
151 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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