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My Story, Our time, My future

My Story, Our time, My future xaoq9
Hi, my name is Amanda and I am 15 years old from a small town called Bollebygd in Sweden. Living in the 21st century may seem comcplicated with all the technology the develops every single day. Young people today were born with this modern technology, but our parents didn't grow up having a smartphone or the internet the same way that we do. I feel like school nowadays are harder than it used to be, beacuse of the reason that we use our computer for almost everything in school and google is an eternity of knowledge which makes it harder to find what you're really searching for. Our parents were given books and wrote everythig down on a piece of paper. Kids today doesn't write as much anymore just because of the computers. When we have a test in school, it is usually on a paper and not on the computer which I find very hard when I barely write anymore. I don't have as much streangth in my hands and fingers as I should have to be able to write a test properly. Besides school, I also got a few interests such as I love playing soccer, the piano, working out and I also like cooking. When I'm not doing homework or any of my interest, I usually hang out with my friends. I spend time with them every weekend and we have sleepovers and just have a good time. I know that a lot of kids today would prefer being in front of a screen rather than going out with their friends which I reckon is pretty bad for them. They aren't working out as much and they isolate themselves from people just to be able to play a game. But enough about that. Today trends are very "important" to follow if you ask some people. The new trends and styles are influencing me in some ways, but I prefer to just wear comfy clothes such as a hoodie and jeans. I also find the top hits in music today much worse than they were like ten years ago. The technology today develops faster than ever. Maybe too fast? I feel like the technology will take over the world someday because having a good internet connection is the most importnant thing to people today. We loose our temper if it is loading slower than it should do and it grows family and friends apart. One big problem that the world have today is the environment. We destroy it with acid and other dangerous things from our car and big factories. We need to change the way we're living or the world will end. We are being to comfortable and doesn't care about the nature. We are treating the world as if we had another 7 earths in store when this one is fully used up. But we need to realize that this is our only earth and we're losing it. We need to make a difference.
Hi, my name is
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Amanda and
I am 15 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
town called
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bollebygd
in Sweden. Living in the 21st century may seem
Possible spelling mistake found.
comcplicated
with all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
the develops every single day. Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
were born
with this modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
our parents didn't grow up having a smartphone or the internet the same way that we do. I feel like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
nowadays are harder than it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be,
Possible spelling mistake found.
beacuse
of the reason that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
our computer for almost everything in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and google is an eternity of knowledge which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it harder to find what you're
really
searching for. Our parents were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
books and wrote
Possible spelling mistake found.
everythig
down on a piece of paper. Kids
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
doesn't write as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
Make sure that 'anymore' is used as an adverb, not as an adjective. Did you mean "any more"?
anymore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the computers. When we have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, it is
usually
on a paper and not on the computer which I find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
when I
barely
write anymore. I don't have as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
Possible spelling mistake found.
streangth
in my hands and fingers as I should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be able to write a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
properly
.
Besides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a few interests such as I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
playing soccer, the piano, working out and I
also
like cooking. When I'm not doing homework or any of my interest, I
usually
hang out with my friends. I spend time with them every
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
weekend and
we have sleepovers and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
time. I know that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
kids
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
would prefer being in front of a screen
rather
than going out with their friends which I reckon is pretty
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for them. They aren't working out as
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
much and
they isolate themselves from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to be able to play a game.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
about that.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Today
trends are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
to follow if you ask
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The new trends and styles are influencing me in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I prefer to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
wear comfy clothes such as a hoodie and jeans. I
also
find the top hits in music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
worse than they were like ten years ago. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
develops faster than ever. Maybe too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
? I feel like the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will take over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
someday
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
internet connection is the most
Possible spelling mistake found.
importnant
thing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
. We
Did you mean "lose" (= miss, waste, suffer the loss etc.)?
loose
our temper if it is loading slower than it should do and it grows family and friends apart. One
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
problem that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
is the environment. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
it with acid and other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
things from our car and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
factories. We need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the way we're living or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
We
are being
Did you mean "too"?
to
comfortable and doesn't care about the nature.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
We
are treating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
as if we had another 7 earths in store when this one is
fully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
up.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
we need to realize that this is our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
earth and
we're losing it. We need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a difference.
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IELTS letter My Story, Our time, My future

Letter
  American English
1 paragraphs
498 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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