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Moving to new city, Asking help to a friend for searching a place to stay

Moving to new city, Asking help to a friend for searching a place to stay VBjjK
Dear John, I am happy to inform you that I am planning to move to your city on account of my new job. I am looking for a new place for me to settle in and I badly need your help in finding a good place for me. As you know I have been struggling from past one year with my old job and looking for a better opportunity. I am excited to let you know that I got a excellent job with good pay and i am really looking forward to it. I have already enquired about few of the properties in the city but unable to find good property near my office which I can afford. My important concern is to have a place near my work so that I can daily walk to office. I am planning to move there by next month, and i hope you will help me in showing around few places as well as suggest some contacts probably a real estate agent who i can consult to check for my options. Thank you for your help and looking forward to meet you soon Sincerely Sindura
Dear John,

I am happy to inform you that I am planning to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to your city on account of my new job. I am
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
looking
for a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
for me to settle in and I
badly
need your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in finding a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
for me.

As you know I have been struggling from past one year with my
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
job and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
looking
for a better opportunity. I
am excited
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
you know that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
excellent job with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
pay and
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
am
really
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
looking
forward to it.

I have already
Possible spelling mistake. 'enquired' is British English.
enquired
about few of the properties in the city
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
unable to find
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
property near my office which I can afford. My
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
concern is to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
near my work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I can daily walk to office. I am planning to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
there by
next
month, and
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
hope you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me in showing around few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
as well
as suggest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
contacts
probably
a real estate agent who
Did you mean "I"?
i
can consult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
for my options.

Thank you for your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
looking
forward to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon


Sincerely


Possible spelling mistake found.
Sindura
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IELTS letter Moving to new city, Asking help to a friend for searching a place to stay

Letter
  American English
6 paragraphs
191 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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