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Membership discontinuation from a local club

Membership discontinuation from a local club 5b3nA
Dear Mr Leo, I am writing this letter to you about my discontinuation from our LIONS CLUB membership in our society. I was an active premium member of LIONS CLUB in our apartment for last 7 years and I was paying INR 9750 per annum to renew the membership for every year. I was using all of our facilities like GYM, PLAYGROUND, INDOOR STADIUM, etc. without any additional charges. I was a regular visitor in the library with this membership without any additional charges. Now I am returning to my native place by next month. So I will not be no longer stay in this apartment. So I would like to cancel my membership from next month onwards. I request you to kindly do the procedures for cancelling the membership and give my no due certificate. I hope you will do the needful as soon as possible. Thanks in advance. Yours sincerelyJithin Joseph
Dear Mr Leo,

I am writing this letter to you about my discontinuation from our LIONS CLUB
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
membership
in our society.

I was an active premium member of LIONS
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "clubs"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'CLUB' is not always incorrect.)
CLUB
in our apartment for last 7
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
years and
I was paying INR 9750 per annum to renew the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
membership
for every year.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
was using all of our facilities like GYM, PLAYGROUND, INDOOR STADIUM, etc. without any additional charges.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
was a regular visitor in the library with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
membership
without any additional charges.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
I am returning to my native place by
next
month.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I will
Double negatives are discouraged in standard English. Can you reformulate this phrase or is a comma missing?
not be no
longer stay in this apartment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I would like to cancel my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
membership
from
next
month onwards. I request you to kindly do the procedures for cancelling the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
membership
and give my no due certificate.

I hope you will do the needful as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible.

Thanks in advance.

Yours
Possible spelling mistake found.
sincerelyJithin
Joseph
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IELTS letter Membership discontinuation from a local club

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
152 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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