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Letter to Admin Manager describing the nuisance faced while studying in hostel room

Letter to Admin Manager describing the nuisance faced while studying in hostel room WJqe

Dear Sir, This is to enlighten you with the difficulties I am facing while accommodating myself with my roommate Mr. Adam. The situation of the room is the area of concern as i do my studies. It has become tough for me to concentrate on my academic assignments as my flat mate is continuously engaged in alcoholic parties, loud music, unhygienic sanitary conditions which leads to total loss of focus on my educational trainings. Mr. Adam gathers his friend in the room and all of them clatter things around for a prolonged period of time which troubles me while doing my work duties. This type of unhealthy atmosphere is affecting my mental health encouraging the drop of zeal in my determination to do my studies. Its my humble request to you in order to provide me a separate place or shift me along with some other roommates. Yours Faithfully, Sumit

Dear Sir,

This is to enlighten you with the difficulties I am facing while accommodating myself with my roommate Mr. Adam. The situation of the room is the area of concern as Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.I
i
 do my studies. It has become tough for me to concentrate on my academic assignments as my flat mate is continuously
 engaged in alcoholic parties, loud music, unhygienic sanitary conditions which leads to total loss of focus on my educational trainings. Mr. Adam gathers his friend in the room and all of them clatter things around for a prolonged period of time which troubles me while doing my work duties.

This type of unhealthy atmosphere is affecting my mental health encouraging the drop of zeal in my determination to do my studies. Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?It'sIt is
Its
 my humble request to you in order to provide me a separate place or shift me along with This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
 other roommates.

Yours Faithfully
, Possible spelling mistake found.SuitSummitSubmitSum it
Sumit

IELTS letter Letter to Admin Manager describing the nuisance faced while studying in hostel room

Letter

American English

4 paragraphs

149 words

This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1

4.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
?
One main idea per paragraph
?
Include an introduction and conclusion
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Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 6.0

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 5.0

Answer all parts of the question
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Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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