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letter for someone to help in home

letter for someone to help in home VPVGw
Dear Mrs Barrett, My name is Mahmoud Shaker, I am a student living in your same town and I am writing this letter in response to your advertisement asking for a helping hand in your house next summer. The first point I want to raise is that I can be of a great support in helping you finishing the house chores such as doing the dishes as well as cleaning the floors and laundry. Another thing I want to discuss is that I am really interested in doing this work as not only I feel proud helping someone else but also I have to save some money for my next course that I am planning to take in the near future. One final thing I forgot to mention is that my free time during the week days would be in the morning from 8: 00 am up to 11: 00 am. However, I am afraid that I would not be able to work in weekends since I have some other plans to do relevant to my summer course that I have mentioned before. Looking forward to hearing from you at your earliest convenience. Best Regards, Mahmoud Shaker
Dear Mrs Barrett,

My name is Mahmoud Shaker, I am a student living in your same
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
town and
I am writing this letter in response to your advertisement asking for a helping hand in your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
next
summer.

The
first
point I want to raise is that I can be of a great support in helping you
The verb 'great' is used with an infinitive: "to finish" or "finish".
finishing
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
chores such as doing the dishes
as well
as cleaning the floors and laundry.

Another thing I want to discuss is that I am
really
interested in doing this work as not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
I feel proud helping someone else
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money for my
next
course that I am planning to take in the near future.

One final thing I forgot to mention is that my free time during the week days would be in the morning from 8: 00 am up to 11: 00 am.
However
, I am afraid that I would not be able to work in weekends since I have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other plans to do relevant to my summer course that I have mentioned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.

Looking forward to hearing from you at your earliest convenience.

Best Regards,

Mahmoud Shaker
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IELTS letter letter for someone to help in home

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
196 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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