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Letter about part time job on resturant

Letter about part time job on resturant 9w1R3
Dear sir\Madam I am writing this letter to apply the job you advertised recently in weekend newspaper for restaurant manager. When I saw this I thought to apply for this because I have work experience of two years back in my country. I was working as a restaurant manager in well reputed restaurant I also know about cooking and cutlery skills. As I had one year diploma cooking and management. As a manager i know how to deal with customers and with staff. Well i want to mention here that i got the best employ of the year awards too. I am here for my study. In morning i am attending my classes which are from 9pm to 1pm. I would like to work on evening shift because i have to give some hours to my study also. I will be waiting for your prompt response. Thanks in advance. Yours Faithfully, John
Dear sir\Madam

I am writing this letter to apply the job you advertised recently in weekend newspaper for restaurant manager. When I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
this I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
to apply for this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I have work experience of two years back in my country.

I was working as a restaurant manager in well reputed restaurant I
also
know about cooking and cutlery
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. As I had one year diploma cooking and management. As a manager
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
know how to deal with customers and with staff. Well
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
want to mention here that
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the best employ of the year awards too.

I am here for my study. In morning
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
am attending my classes which are from 9pm to 1pm. I would like to work on evening shift
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
hours to my study
also
.

I will be waiting for your prompt response. Thanks in advance.

Yours
Faithfully
,

John
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IELTS letter Letter about part time job on resturant

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
151 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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