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Letter to addmission office regarding waiver for English entry requirements

Letter to addmission office regarding waiver for English entry requirements wONwl
Respected personnel, I am Sumit Budhiraja, current applicant for Master of Mechanical Engineering course. I have recieved a conditional offer letter from your esteemed university for the particular course. Being a mechanical engineer graduate, I would like to pursue my career in the same field without any restrictions for particular specialization. Hence I chose to go with Master of Mechanical Engineering and university like University of Melbourne can provide me the unexpected boost in the same field but due to the condition over the offer letter regarding English language, I am not able to confirm my enrollment for the course. I have completed my undergraduate, in 2020 with 84. 5%, from english taught(medium of teaching was in english language) university (Amity University, Noida) and my schooling was too from english taught (medium of teaching was in english language) with good score in both English as subject and complete coursera. As I gone through the website, I found that if a student have completed the degree within two years of the ​commencement to study at the University of Melbourne, no additional evidence of English language proficiency is required. Therefore, I would like to request you to please provide me the waiver for English language condition on my offer letter so that I can pursue my studies and passion futher in such an esteemed university like University of Melbourne with good and job oriented course structure. Regards Sumit Budhiraja
Respected personnel,

I am
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sumit
Possible spelling mistake found.
Budhiraja
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
applicant for Master of Mechanical Engineering course. I have
Possible spelling mistake found.
recieved
a conditional offer letter from your esteemed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
for the particular course.

Being a mechanical engineer graduate, I would like to pursue my career in the same field without any restrictions for particular specialization.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
I chose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
Master of Mechanical Engineering and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
of Melbourne can provide me the unexpected boost in the same field
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
due to the condition over the offer letter regarding English
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, I am not able to confirm my enrollment for the course.

I have completed my undergraduate, in 2020 with 84. 5%, from
Possible spelling mistake found.
english
taught(medium of teaching was in
Possible spelling mistake found.
english
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language)
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
(Amity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
, Noida) and my schooling was too from
Possible spelling mistake found.
english
taught (medium of teaching was in
Possible spelling mistake found.
english
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language)
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
score in both English as subject and complete
Possible spelling mistake found.
coursera
.

As I
Possible grammatical error. You used a past participle without using any required verb ('be' or 'have'). Did you mean "went"?
gone
through the website, I found that if a student have completed the degree within two years of the ​commencement to study at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
of Melbourne, no additional evidence of English
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
proficiency
is required
.

Therefore
, I would like to request you to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
provide me the waiver for English
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
condition on my offer letter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I can pursue my studies and passion
Possible spelling mistake found.
futher
in such an esteemed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
of Melbourne with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and job oriented course structure.

Regards

Possible spelling mistake found.
Sumit
Possible spelling mistake found.
Budhiraja
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IELTS letter Letter to addmission office regarding waiver for English entry requirements

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
236 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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