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introduction yourself and my dream job

introduction yourself and my dream job kxr3n
Hi. My name is Phan Van Khai but in face, my real name is John Marco, it's my english name. I'm living in Long Đức village, Long Thanh town, Dong Nai province, my family is live it where i borned. Inside, my family is four people, consist of mother, father, elder sister and me. Now, i reached eighteen years old. I'm really maturing! My feeling is intersting and make sure i will become good citizens whose responsiblity for social life beside i will find a good job in order to take care of life yourself in whole life. I hoped it will come true. Before, many people asked me: '' What will I do job in your future for? ''. Initial, I don't know my question but after many time, i found it. I intended talk my parent but they are busy working. So I spoak my friend, whose his freshman, is Nam. I and nam played with together 7 years ago, His house is next to me. Nam is studying in grade 11 while I'm studying in grade 12 but the same school. After my storying, Nam is very suprising because My dream job become excellent monk man. Nam advised me giving up it but I don't work anyway it created me to enthusimatic man and i will reach it what it take. In the life, it's many difficults but human flight it. I can fall but it not give up, i'm still flight another day and finally they suceed. The same word: ''Failure is mother's success''. But if human is me, i will do. I will demonstrate my people real.
Hi. My name is
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Phan
Van
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Khai
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in face, my real name is John Marco, it's my
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english
name. I'm living in Long
Possible spelling mistake found.
Đức
village, Long Thanh town, Dong
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nai
province, my family is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
it where i
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borned
. Inside, my family is four
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, consist of mother, father, elder sister and me.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
reached eighteen years
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old
. I'm
really
maturing! My feeling is
Possible spelling mistake found.
intersting
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure
Did you mean "I"?
i
will become
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
citizens whose
Possible spelling mistake found.
responsiblity
for social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
beside
Did you mean "I"?
i
will find a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job in order to take care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
yourself in whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. I hoped it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
true.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
asked me: '' What will I do job in your future for? ''. Initial, I don't know my question
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after
Possible agreement error. The noun time seems to be countable; consider using: "many times".
many time
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
found it. I intended talk my parent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are busy working.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I
Possible spelling mistake found.
spoak
my friend, whose his freshman, is Nam. I and
Possible spelling mistake found.
nam
played with together 7 years ago, His
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
is
next
to me. Nam is studying in grade 11 while I'm studying in grade 12
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the same school. After my
Possible spelling mistake found.
storying
, Nam is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Possible spelling mistake found.
suprising
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
My dream job become excellent monk
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
. Nam advised me giving up it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I don't work anyway it created me to
Possible spelling mistake found.
enthusimatic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
and
Did you mean "I"?
i
will reach it what it
Did you mean "takes"?
take
. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, it's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
difficults
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
human flight it. I can fall
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it not
Did you mean "gives"?
give
up,
Did you mean "I'm"?
i'm
still
Consider using a past participle here: "flighted".
flight
another day and
finally
they
Possible spelling mistake found.
suceed
. The same word: ''Failure is mother's success''.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
if human is me,
Did you mean "I"?
i
will do. I will demonstrate my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
real.
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IELTS letter introduction yourself and my dream job

Letter
  American English
1 paragraphs
272 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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