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Need for a better accommodation

Need for a better accommodation eEdkK
Dear sir or madam, There is something I need help with. It's about the college room that I currently have for accommodation. The room is not particularly encouraging for my study work routine. There are a number of problems I am currently facing with the room. Firstly, the room is too tight and small. It doesn't even allow me to stretch my legs fully. Secondly, the lighting in this room is very poor and night time study work is almost impossible. Also, my bed and the mattress are both not very comfortable to rest on at all. I find myself wishing for a better more accommodating room. Personally, I would much prefer a more spacious room with better lighting. Also, I would be able to work much better in a room that has better ventilation. Please allow me an accommodation room that has more comfortable bed and mattress with better bathroom access as well. Waiting for your positive response.
Dear sir or madam,

There is something I need
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
with. It's about the college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
that I
currently
have for accommodation. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
is not
particularly
encouraging for my study work routine. There are a number of problems I am
currently
facing with the room.

Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
is too tight and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
. It doesn't even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
me to stretch my legs
fully
.
Secondly
, the lighting in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
poor and
This word is normally spelled as one.
night time
study work is almost impossible.
Also
, my bed and the mattress are both not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
comfortable to rest on at all. I find myself wishing for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
more accommodating room.

Personally
, I would much prefer a more spacious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
lighting.
Also
, I would be able to work much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
that has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
ventilation.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
me an accommodation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
that has more comfortable bed and mattress with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
bathroom access
as well
.

Waiting for your
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
response.

IELTS letter Need for a better accommodation

Letter
  American English
5 paragraphs
159 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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