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informal letter to a friend

informal letter to a friend PX0W2

Dear Mary, I hope you're well. As I told you before, I want to come to Adelaide to study. Finally, I receive the university application, thanks, God! I would like to write to you my detailed plan to study there. First, I will enroll in an online class preparing for an oral exam on ethics for overseas pharmacists, the exam is on January the 30th, and I will have enough to get a job as soon as possible. Then I must register for the assessment pharmaceutical test, if I would pass the test before March, I could enroll in a preparing course to work as a pharmacist in Australia. It probably takes two years. So, I'm thinking about working a part-time job on weekends to afford my costs. Unfortunately, the trainee courses on pharmacy are not paid, and students do not allow to work more than fifteen hours a week. It would be great if you could find some casual part-time jobs for me to get. I'm thank you to that great advice given to me. Please help me with the job, too. I hope to see you soon! Best regards,

Dear Mary,

I hope you're well. As I This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :informed
told
 you This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:previouslyprior to
before
, I want to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :approacharrive
come
 to Adelaide to study. Finally
, I receive the university application, thanks, God!

I would like to write to you my detailed plan to study there. First
, I will enroll in an online This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :coursetraining
class
 preparing for an oral exam on ethics for overseas pharmacists, the exam is on January the 30th, and I will have This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:abundance
enough
 to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquire
get
 a You use this word too often, consider replacing it withtaskappointmentofficebusinesscareerassignment
job
 as This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:in the near future
soon
 as possible. Then I This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :require
must
 register for the assessment pharmaceutical This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :evaluate
test
, if I would pass the This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :evaluate
test
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:previouslyprior to
before
 March, I could enroll in a preparing course to work as a pharmacist in Australia. It probably
 takes two years.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:consequently
So
, I'm thinking about working a part-time You use this word too often, consider replacing it withtaskappointmentofficebusinesscareerassignment
job
 on weekends to afford my costs. Unfortunately, the trainee courses on pharmacy are not paid, and students do not This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :authorize
allow
Did you mean "working"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'allow' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.working
to work
 more than fifteen hours a week.

It would be great if you could find This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
 casual part-time You use this word too often, consider replacing it withtaskappointmentofficebusinesscareerassignment
jobs
 for me to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquire
get
.

I'm Consider using a past participle here: "thanked".thanked
thank
 you to that great advice This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :accorded
given
 to me. This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :satisfy
Please
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :assistassistance
help
 me with the You use this word too often, consider replacing it withtaskappointmentofficebusinesscareerassignment
job
, too.

I hope to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :witness
see
 you This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:in the near future
soon
!

Best regards, 