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I had a very interesting day

I had a very interesting day yesterday. First, my friend called me. Second, she invited me to her house. Then I prepared to go to her house. At the same time I was lifting my house I saw my uncle. He moved me to my friend's place. We have a good time at her house. While I was coming back Maryam gave me a nice gift. Next, I took a taxi to arrive at my house. Before I arrived at my house my mother surprised me by telling good new about my brother. Finally, I make a chocolate cake for our familiar celebration.
I had a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
interesting day yesterday.
First
, my friend called me. Second, she invited me to her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
. Then I prepared to go to her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
. At the same time I was lifting my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
my uncle. He
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
me to my friend's place. We have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
time at her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
I was coming back Maryam gave me a nice gift.
Next
, I took a taxi to arrive at my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
.
“Before” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Before
I arrived at my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
my mother surprised me by telling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
new about my brother.
Finally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a chocolate cake for our familiar celebration.
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IELTS letter I had a very interesting day

Letter
  American English
1 paragraphs
103 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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