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Do you think it’s important for us to learn about history

Do you think it’s important for us to learn about history E7MOQ

History is one of the most important things about human beings. It shows you where you are from, who you are. Though nowadays this subject is going to be a learn-by-heart one, students find it boring when their teacher tells them about what our ancestors have done. From my point of view, I agree with this thinking. First, studying history can widen your knowledge of the world. Every historical event has been recorded such as: World War I, World War II. Furthermore you will know how past societies, governments and cultures were built, and how they have changed. It will paint a picture of our modern life now.

History is one of the most This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:vitalcriticalessential
important
 things about human beings. It This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :demonstratesportraysindicatesdisplays
shows
 you where you are from, who you are. Though nowadays this subject is going to be a learn-by-heart one, students find it boring when their teacher This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :informs
tells
 them about what our ancestors have done. From my point of view, I This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquiesce
agree
 with this thinking.

First
, studying history can widen your knowledge of the world. Every historical This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :occasionhappening
event
 has been recorded
 such as: World War I, World War II. Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?Furthermore,
Furthermore
 you will know how past societies, This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :national authoritiespublic authorities
governments
 and cultures were built
, and how they have This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :alteredadjusted
changed
. It will paint a picture of our modern life This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :nowadays
now
. 

IELTS letter Do you think it’s important for us to learn about history

Letter

American English

2 paragraphs

108 words

This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1

4.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
?
One main idea per paragraph
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Include an introduction and conclusion
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Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 6.5

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.5

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 6.5

Answer all parts of the question
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Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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