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Do you think it’s important for us to learn about history

Do you think it’s important for us to learn about history E7MOQ
History is one of the most important things about human beings. It shows you where you are from, who you are. Though nowadays this subject is going to be a learn-by-heart one, students find it boring when their teacher tells them about what our ancestors have done. From my point of view, I agree with this thinking. First, studying history can widen your knowledge of the world. Every historical event has been recorded such as: World War I, World War II. Furthermore you will know how past societies, governments and cultures were built, and how they have changed. It will paint a picture of our modern life now.
History is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things about human beings. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
you where you are from, who you are. Though nowadays this subject is going to be a learn-by-heart one, students find it boring when their teacher
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tells
them about what our ancestors have done. From my point of view, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this thinking.

First
, studying history can widen your knowledge of the world. Every historical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
has
been recorded
such as: World War I, World War II.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
you will know how past societies,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and cultures
were built
, and how they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
. It will paint a picture of our modern life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
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IELTS letter Do you think it’s important for us to learn about history

Letter
  American English
2 paragraphs
108 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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