Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

magazine child family take care

magazine child family take care 96gRr
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing in reference to your advert in The Sydney Journal, July 2021 issue for the babysitter position. I am a student in the University of Sydney, where I study the pediatric nursing course since a year. Supporting my education has become a challege since my father passed away earlier this year. Consequently, I believe that securing this job would not only alleviate my financial burden but also support me in my professional career later on. I have past experience in looking after childeren from my high school days in Melbourne when I used to take care of the 5-year old daughter of a local couple. Additionally, now that I have completed most of my academic course, I am able to attend to the medical needs of children more effectively. I have recieved necessary training regarding the same. During my stay with your family, I would mostly be attending the university and work towards completion of my degree. I don't think I would be eft with much time after fulfiling my responsiblities towards your family and my education. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Yours faithful, Akshay Khadse
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing in reference to your advert in The Sydney Journal, July 2021 issue for the babysitter position. I am a student in the University of Sydney, where I study the pediatric nursing course since a year.

Supporting my education has become a
Possible spelling mistake found.
challege
since my father passed away earlier this year.
Consequently
, I believe that securing this job would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
alleviate my financial burden
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
support me in my professional career later on.

I have
Consider using "experience".
past experience
in looking after
Possible spelling mistake found.
childeren
from my high school days in Melbourne when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to take care of the 5-year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
daughter of a local couple.
Additionally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
that I have completed most of my academic course, I am able to attend to the medical needs of children more
effectively
. I have
Possible spelling mistake found.
recieved
necessary training regarding the same.

During my stay with your family, I would
mostly
be attending the university and work towards completion of my degree. I don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
I would be
Possible spelling mistake found.
eft
with much time after
Possible spelling mistake found.
fulfiling
my
Possible spelling mistake found.
responsiblities
towards your family and my education.

I look forward to hearing from you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Yours faithful,

Akshay
Possible spelling mistake found.
Khadse
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS letter magazine child family take care

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
194 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 6band
    A formal letter of complaint to the hotel service
    Dear Sir/Madam I am writing in connection with my recent stay at your hotel in Rethymno, Crete. Unfortunately, for all 7 days of my vacation from June 10 to 17, I did not encounter a possibility to utilize bathroom properly. When I checked into the hotel, I immediately discovered an issue with the...
  • 6band
    Job hunting advice from a friend
    Dear Luca, I am writing to let you know about my current job situation, hoping that you can give me some advice. I have decided to leave my current position at the Swaneset Company. I have worked there for several years now, and I think I have advanced as far as possible in this company. I would li...
  • 6band
    A formal letter of complaint about a hotel
    Dear Sir/Madam I am writing in connection with my recent stay at your resort in Rethymno, Crete. Unfortunately, for all 7 days of my vacation from June 10 to 17, I did not encounter a possibility to utilize bathroom properly. When I checked into the hotel, I immediately discovered an issue with th...
  • 6band
    A problem with equipment you use in your job explain the problem and say what you want
    Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing with regard to a problem that i have with my personal computer which i bought it from your company two weeks ago. Let me explain the problem, I have bought this equipment to use in my job as I am an engineer and i almost use it in everything related to my work. When...
  • 5band
    I m thinking of applying for courses from two colleges tomorrow.
    Hi, I m thinking of applying for courses from two colleges tomorrow. I have selected a bandle from Fanshawe college. And if you click the second link it will direct you to a set of programs pairs available in st claire college. can you recommend a suitable pair for someone who studied interior arch...
  • 5.5band
    Our Time, My world, Our future.
    hello from the 21st century. In this letter i will write about life in the 21st century for any intruiged people from the future who wants to hear what it's like. I am a fifteen year old student at Bollebygd school. And I am currently going through my third year in high school. I am not really likin...





Get more results for topic:
  • magazine child family take care