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Dear Mr Patel, I enjoyed your energetic musical concert that was held in Surat on 25th July 2019.

Dear Mr Patel, I enjoyed your energetic musical concert that was held in Surat on 25th July 2019. Since I am a classical singer and a drummer, I intend to meet you and hope to get some suggestions on my singing. I am fond of classical music and try to attend various concerts that are held in my town. I enjoyed your last concert, particularly the various 90s song that you sang which were not only melodious but also full of energy, ergo it stole the show. There were various artists who performed but your performance was particularly unique and was appreciated by most of the audience. I have trained for singing from last 6 years. I have a degree in classical music and can play the drums. I am an active group member of the musical group "Goonj" in which I play a role of background singer and have participated in various music concerts in Mumbai as a drummer. I intend to sing as a solo classical singer someday. I am very much fond of singing, however, I am not able to move ahead in this profession. As my town has limited facilities for music as a profession, I wish to meet you and like to have a small conversation on how I can move ahead. Moreover, I would appreciate it if you can listen to my couple of songs and advice some valuable suggestions. Hoping to meet you soon. Yours sincerely Mayur Shah
Dear Mr Patel,

I enjoyed your energetic musical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concert
that
was held
in Surat on 25th July 2019. Since I am a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
singer and a drummer, I intend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
you and hope to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
suggestions on my singing.

I am fond of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and try to attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concerts
that
are held
in my town. I enjoyed your last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concert
,
particularly
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
90s song that you sang which were not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
melodious
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
full of energy, ergo it stole the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
. There were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
artists who
Use a comma before ‘but’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
performed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
your performance was
particularly
unique and
was appreciated
by most of the audience.

I have trained for singing from last 6 years. I have a degree in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and can play the drums.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am an active group member of the musical group
Use a smart opening quote here.
"
Possible spelling mistake found.
Goonj
Use a smart closing quote here.
"
in which I play a role of background singer and have participated in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concerts
in Mumbai as a drummer.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
intend to sing as a solo
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
singer someday.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much fond of singing,
however
, I am not able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
ahead in this profession. As my town has limited facilities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
as a profession, I wish to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
you and like to have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
conversation on how I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
ahead.
Moreover
, I would appreciate it if you can listen to my couple of songs and advice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
valuable suggestions.

Hoping to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

Yours
sincerely


Possible spelling mistake found.
Mayur
Shah
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IELTS letter Dear Mr Patel, I enjoyed your energetic musical concert that was held in Surat on 25th July 2019.

Letter
  American English
8 paragraphs
244 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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