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complain tenant at the apartment in front of me

complain tenant at the apartment in front of me 3ymN
Dear Sir / Madam, I am writing to raise a concern about losing my wallet at the train station last Friday when me and my wife were going to my parents to spend our weekend with them. A salesperson has passed by us while we were sitting on the train, and I ordered some food for me and my wife as this was the last time that I remember that I have seen my wallet. Let me explain in more details how my wallet looks alike. A dark brown wallet with a small logo which looks like a dog also it has one pocket with a zipper where I keep always my coins so it will not fall down. In addition, having a scratch at one side of the wallet which you can find at the right bottom corner. The wallet includes various valuable items such as two credit cards and one debit card, however, I have contacted the bank and cancelled them. Besides, having some cash around 500 pounds which I don't mind if I lost them but I have one picture of my grandmother which she have given to me before she passed away and it is very precious to me so this is the main reason for writing this letter. I would like to request you asking for it on the train coming from Cairo heading to Alexandria on 28 of August at 10 am and if you were able to find it I will come by myself to pick it up. I would appreciate your action and quick response. Regards, Paula Raafat
Dear Sir / Madam,

I am writing to raise a concern about losing my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wallet
at the train station last Friday when me and my wife were going to my parents to spend our weekend with them. A salesperson has passed by us while we were sitting on the train, and I ordered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
food for me and my wife as this was the last time that I remember that I have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
my wallet.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
me
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
in more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
how my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wallet
looks alike. A dark brown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wallet
with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
logo which looks like a dog
also
it has one pocket with a zipper where I
The adverb 'always' is usually put before the verb 'keep'.
keep always
my coins
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it will not fall down.
In addition
, having a scratch at one side of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wallet
which you can find at the right bottom corner. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wallet
includes various valuable items such as two credit cards and one debit card,
however
, I have contacted the bank and cancelled them.
Besides
, having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cash around
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
500 pounds
which I don't mind if I lost them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I have one picture of my grandmother which she
The pronoun 'she' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "has", "had".
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
she passed away and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
precious to me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
this is the main reason for writing this letter.

I would like to request you asking for it on the train coming from Cairo heading to Alexandria on 28 of August at 10 am and if you were able to find it I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
by myself to pick it up.

I would appreciate your action and quick response.

Regards,

Paula
Possible spelling mistake found.
Raafat
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IELTS letter complain tenant at the apartment in front of me

Letter
  American English
7 paragraphs
265 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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