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Ask about part time job, a friend live there.

Ask about part time job, a friend live there. G3oOL
Dear Zarin, Hope you are going well. With joy I like to inform you that I got a Chance to Study in Canada. My subject is Information and Technology, and I also got an offer of a scholarship. As you know it is a demanding subject, in spite of getting a scholarship I need to pay for my course. I am planning to do a part-time job there. I strongly believe that a job only help me to achieve my fees but also help me to socialize. At this point, I want your advice. You can advise me how to get a job and which service is popular now. I want to work in such a place where my study will be not hampered. After all, I will be there for education, build up some soft skills will make more potential in future carrier life. You are living in Canada for more than 5 years, so it will be easy for you to tell me where should I try. You will be better know, which companies are offering jobs for international students. I am coming on next week. I hope we can meet and talk further. Your lovingZakia
Dear
Possible spelling mistake found.
Zarin
, Hope you are going well. With joy I like to inform you that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a Chance to Study in Canada. My subject is Information and Technology, and I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
an offer of a scholarship. As you know it is a demanding subject,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
getting a scholarship I need to pay for my course. I am planning to do a part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
there. I
strongly
believe that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me to achieve my fees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me to socialize. At this point, I want your advice. You can advise me how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and which service is popular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. I want to work in such a place where my study will be not hampered.
After all
, I will be there for education, build up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more potential in future carrier life. You are living in Canada for more than 5 years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it will be easy for you to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
me where should I try. You will be better know
If " which" starts an indirect question, you do not need to put a comma before it.
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are offering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
for international students. I am coming on
next
week. I hope we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
and talk
further
. Your
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
lovingZakia
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IELTS letter Ask about part time job, a friend live there.

Letter
  American English
1 paragraphs
197 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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