Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

as a vice president write an email to instepp's ceo to inform decision concerning relocation

as a vice president write an email to instepp's ceo to inform decision concerning relocation m3q1n
Dear, Mr. CEO of InStep’s company, I am writing to you as a Vice President of InStep’s parent company. After careful consideration, I have decided to introduce you to the idea of the Head Office relocation from Paris to Beauchamp. Beauchamp, a small industrial town has a population of 25, 000, with a large number of young people. Moving our factory to the town of Beauchamp has made a huge impact on our business and town itself, so the council of the Beauchamp has offered us tax incentives to relocate the head office there. If the relocation goes well, it will benefit our company as well as the town of Beauchamp in many ways. First of all, our aim to relocate the head office to Beauchamp will result in a reduction of costs which will boost our profits. Furthermore, having a factory, warehouse, distribution center and office in the same town contributes to better, faster, and more reliable production and business which will result in improved working conditions, better communication as well as happiness and confidence in the workplace. In addition, moving the head office will create employment opportunities for locals, especially younger people who are eager to learn and improve themselves. Young employees can contribute with new and fresh ideas which can be very beneficial and bring new customers to our doors. Finally, our goal is to have a company with great products and happy employees. From my perspective, this way both sides are satisfied. Looking forward to hearing from you. Sincerely.
Dear, Mr. CEO of
Possible spelling mistake found.
InStep
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
,

I am writing to you as a Vice President of
Possible spelling mistake found.
InStep
’s parent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. After careful consideration, I have decided to introduce you to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of the Head
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Office
relocation from Paris to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Beauchamp
.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Beauchamp
, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
industrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
has a population of 25, 000, with
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Moving our factory to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Beauchamp
has made a huge impact on our business and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
itself,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the council of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Beauchamp
has offered us tax incentives to relocate the head
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
there. If the relocation goes well, it will benefit our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
as well
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Beauchamp
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, our aim to relocate the head
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Beauchamp
will result in a reduction of costs which will boost our profits.

Furthermore
, having a factory, warehouse, distribution center and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
contributes to better, faster, and more reliable production and business which will result in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
working conditions, better communication
as well
as happiness and confidence in the workplace.

In addition
, moving the head
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
will create employment opportunities for locals,
especially
younger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are eager to learn and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
themselves. Young employees can contribute with new and fresh
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
which can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
beneficial and bring new customers to our doors.

Finally
, our goal is to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
with great products and happy employees. From my perspective, this way both sides
are satisfied
.

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS letter as a vice president write an email to instepp's ceo to inform decision concerning relocation

Letter
  American English
9 paragraphs
253 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts