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a letter to manager asking to work for 6 months at head office

a letter to manager asking to work for 6 months at head office Ajw9x
The purpose of this letter is to express my interest in working at the head office of our company, in Tokyo, for the first half of the next year. Firstly, I would like to mention that my commitment and willingness to work hard is evident from the fact that I was awarded Employee of the Year last month. Working at the head office would help me gain diverse skills and knowledge which, in turn, would prove beneficial for our local office. As you know, my work mainly consists of designing on a laptop. While I am in Tokyo, I would still be able to devote part-time hours to manage the ongoing projects here. Moreover, with your permission, I am willing to train my assistant to handle my work temporarily. I would be grateful if you could provide me a laptop with a licenced version of the software "AutoCAD" installed for my work. Additionally, I request that my airline tickets to Tokyo be reimbursed. Your sincerely,
The purpose of this letter is to express my interest in working at the head office of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, in Tokyo, for the
first
half of the
next
year.

Firstly
, I would like to mention that my commitment and willingness to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
is evident from the fact that I
was awarded
Employee of the Year last month. Working at the head office would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me gain diverse
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and knowledge which, in turn, would prove beneficial for our local office.

As you know, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
mainly
consists of designing on a laptop. While I am in Tokyo, I would
still
be able to devote part-time hours to manage the ongoing projects here.
Moreover
, with your permission, I am willing to train my assistant to handle my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
temporarily
.

I would be grateful if you could provide me a laptop with a
Possible spelling mistake found.
licenced
version of the software
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
AutoCAD
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
installed for my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Additionally
, I request that my airline tickets to Tokyo
be reimbursed
.

Did you mean "Yours"? (complimentary close)
Your
sincerely
,
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IELTS letter a letter to manager asking to work for 6 months at head office

Letter
  American English
5 paragraphs
165 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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