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A friend of yours is thinking of going on a camping holiday for the first time this summer. He/she has asked for your advice.

A friend of yours is thinking of going on a camping holiday for the first time this summer. He/she has asked for your advice. 83mG
Dear Liza, I’m writing this with response from the letter you sent to me last time. I believed going on a camping holiday this summer is a good idea. It’s your chance to relax and meet some friends. It will help you in searching for your soul as this could release your anxiety and worries. You’ll definitely enjoy the activities you can do in camping such as hiking, trailing, and an open fire story telling at night before you go to bed with your co-campers. Just bear in mind for numerous possibilities that might happen at the camping site. You should be prepared and bring some items that you can use while camping. Firstly, you will be needing an insect repellant because lot of insect can bite you especially at night. Secondly, bring a waterproof sleeping bag to avoid some moisture that occurs at dawn. Lastly, use a mountain shoes that are suitable for long distance walking so that you won’t experience any difficulties while having a trail. I hope you find my advice very informative. I’d be grateful if I could come to you on this journey because I love camping. I’m hoping to hear you soon. Take care! Best regards, Noemi
Dear Liza,

I’m writing this with response from the letter you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to me last time. I believed going on a camping holiday this summer is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. It’s your chance to relax and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
friends. It will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you in searching for your soul as this could release your anxiety and worries. You’ll definitely enjoy the activities you can do in camping such as hiking, trailing, and an open fire story telling at night
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
you go to bed with your co-campers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
bear in mind for numerous possibilities that might happen at the camping site. You should
be prepared
and bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
items that you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
while camping.
Firstly
, you will
The verb 'needing' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
be needing
an insect
Possible spelling mistake found.
repellant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
insect can bite you
especially
at night.
Secondly
, bring a waterproof sleeping bag to avoid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
moisture that occurs at dawn.
Lastly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a mountain shoes that are suitable for long distance walking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that you won’t experience any difficulties while having a trail. I hope you find my advice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
informative. I’d be grateful if I could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to you on this journey
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
camping.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
’m hoping to hear you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
. Take care!

Best regards,

Noemi

IELTS letter A friend of yours is thinking of going on a camping holiday for the first time this summer. He/she has asked for your advice.

Letter
  American English
4 paragraphs
202 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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