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ZoosSome critics contend that keeping animals in zoos is inhumane and must be changed. They believe that zoos are unnatural and provide no real benefit to society besides providing entertainment at the expense of the animals involved. The truth is that zo

ZoosSome critics contend that keeping animals in zoos is inhumane and must be changed. They believe that zoos are unnatural and provide no real benefit to society besides providing entertainment at the expense of the animals involved. The truth is that zo jR1mp
The lecturer casts doubt on the points made in the reading. He argues that zoos are not beneficial for the animals for the following reasons. First of all, he mentions that the reading's statement about treating animals right is not correct. He brings the example of two dead pandas in a zoo. He mentions that accident happened because of lack of management since they were a victim of rat poison which could have been prevented. In his example he states that the safety manager, and the zoo's administration did not take care of their animals well. Second, the lecturer disagrees with the reading mentioning that zoos are no longer being used as a type of entertainment. He mentions that the educational aspect of zoos are not being targeted however, zoos are trying to attract more visitors who do not understand the educational aspects of zoos. He also mentions that management makes it seem okay to use animals for our entertainment purposes. Moreover, he argues that animals appear artificial to the visitors which is misleading. Third, he disagrees with reading's statement about protecting endangered species with following reasons. First off, he mentions that the example in the reading is the only successful story about saving animals. However, saving animals from extinction has overally not been successful by zoos. Secondly, the lecturer states that the number of animals kept in zoos are very small, and zoos force animals to breed with choosing same family of animals which usually cause a lot of birth defects. In conclusion, he concludes that there is no distinct advantage of keeping animals in zoos versus their natural habitat.
The lecturer casts doubt on the points made in the reading. He argues that zoos are not beneficial for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for the following reasons.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, he
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mentions
that the reading's statement about treating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
right is not correct. He brings the example of two dead pandas in a zoo. He
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mentions
that accident happened
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of lack of management since they were a victim of rat poison which could have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
. In his example he states that the safety manager, and the zoo's administration did not take care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
well.

Second, the lecturer disagrees with the reading mentioning that zoos are no longer being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a type of entertainment. He
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mentions
that the educational aspect of zoos
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "is"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'are' is not always incorrect.)
are
not
being targeted
however
, zoos are trying to attract more visitors who do not understand the educational aspects of zoos. He
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mentions
that management
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it seem okay to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for our entertainment purposes.
Moreover
, he argues that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
appear artificial to the visitors which is misleading.

Third, he disagrees with reading's statement about protecting endangered species with following reasons.
First
off, he
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mentions
that the example in the reading is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
successful story about saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
However
, saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
from extinction has
Possible spelling mistake found.
overally
not been successful by zoos.
Secondly
, the lecturer states that the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in zoos are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
, and zoos force
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
to breed with choosing same family of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
which
usually
cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
birth defects.

In conclusion
, he concludes that there is no distinct advantage of keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in zoos versus their natural habitat.

IELTS essay ZoosSome critics contend that keeping animals in zoos is inhumane and must be changed. They believe that zoos are unnatural and provide no real benefit to society besides providing entertainment at the expense of the animals involved. The truth is that zo

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
271 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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